Kara-foot

It really has been FOREVER!!!

2010-08-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

Geeze, I realized today that my last blog post was 9 MONTHS AGO!!! I don't know where the time goes- but it sure is flying by!!!

Well, a little update of my life over the past 6 months...I moved up to San Francisco when Matt deployed in March and worked up there on my family farm until about a month ago - and now I am back here in San Diego in our beach bungalow on the bay!!!

During my stay at the farm I also was able to go and visit Matt - and we headed off to Thailand for 2 weeks which was just amazing!!! I also officiated my best friend's wedding back home in Michigan and hung out there visiting for 3 weeks in June - and it was great to see everyone!

Now I am just settling in to our new home and a new job and hanging with my friends here in SD. My mom has also been here with me since I got back - and it's been great!!! I start my year long internship for school next week - and as a little present to me for working so hard my mom and I are heading to Disneyland next weekend - which should be a blast since we LOVE Disney!!!

I am looking forward to my friend Jamie's wedding in a few weeks, and then to Matt coming home, and hopefully seeing our wonderful friends Cara and Patrick in November - and bringing along some of our wonderful friends who are here in SD too!

Looks like it's going to be an amazing year and I can't wait to relish in every moment of it!!!

That's all for now - but I promise to post pictures from Thailand and of our beach bungalow this week!

14,000 things to be happy about

2009-11-18T15:35:00.001-08:00

After reading a few pages of 14,000 things to be happy about by Barbara Kipfer, I have decided to start a list of my own. Although I may not get up to 14,000 like she did in her book, I wanted to list 10 things that make me happy up until Thanksgiving to be in the thanks-giving spirit!

List 1:

Kenny Chesney songs
Steel drum Caribbean music
My 70-pound bundle of pure excitement - Clifford!
Dancing
Palm trees
Surfing
Stars at night
Snapping my fingers
Braiding my hair
Tropical paintings

I feel like I could go on forever and list 100 things that make me happy right now...but I have to leave for class :( I think will write out my list and take it with me so I can read it and smile!

It's been forever!

2009-11-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

I know it's been forever since my last post...But I have been so busy lately with school, homework, friends, Clifford the now really big red dog, helping people plan their weddings, figuring out our holiday leave, and trying to figure out everything for when Matt deploys again next year. It's been nothing short of crazy around here, but really good at the same time!

It's hard to believe that last year at this time I was with Cara in Virginia working at the USO and dreaming of the day I would get to hold Matt in my arms again at his homecoming. I am so thankful that I was able to stay with Cara and Shiner for the last 3-4 months of Matt's deployment! It really helped me to get through everyday of missing him and knowing he was in a war zone. We had a ton of fun traveling everywhere, my favorite trip being our trip to New York for Thanksgiving and eating pizza and wine for our Thanksgiving dinner :) It was great to not be alone in experiencing a first deployment, and to have such a sweet friend to share the experience with.

I am SO happy that this year both Matt and Patrick are home and Cara and I get to spend the holidays with them! I just booked our Thanksgiving trip last week, and we have a lot planned! We are going up to Seattle the Saturday before Thanksgiving and will be staying on the Navy base at Whidbey Island for 2 days, and then we have a condo on Puget Sound for the rest of the week. Originally we were going to meet my family at the cabin in the San Juan Islands off the coast of Seattle, but they are so busy with the farm that it ended up being just us two! We are actually really happy that it's just us for Thanksgiving since this will be the first one we've spent together, and can't wait to explore the city and see rain again...Maybe a little too much rain, but that's ok!

I am in the process of figuring out everything for when Mat deploys next year, and the plan so far is for Clifford and I to head up to San Francisco to be with my family on the farm for the 6 month deployment. I always said I would NEVER go back home while Matt was deployed, but this is a great chance for me to hang out with my family and work on the farm without having to go back home! I am excited to work on the farm, spend time with my mom and the family, and explore the city, all while saving 6 months of rent money!!!

When Matt gets back we plan on moving back to the water so we are within walking distance again, and maybe a little more north than we are now. We like our townhouse since it has a yard for Clifford, but we really miss being so close to the ocean and being in more of a laid back beach community. We figure if we get to live in San Diego for a few years, we might as well take advantage of it and live closer to the beach!!!

I am currently finishing up another semester of school and hope to start my internship in the Fall, which means I will be done by the end of the next summer...YAY! I still don't know what I want to do with my degree exactly, but I would like to work with kids or military families and do what I can to help them! This has been a challenging semester since I am now finishing up my upper level classes, but I always like the hardest classes the best...Yes, I know, I'm weird! I have been so fortunate to meet some great friends in my classes, and it's nice to share the whole Master's program experience with some really wonderful people!

We were very happy to welcome home our helicopter squadron friends last week, and are keeping the families who buried their Marines in our prayers. It's been bitter sweet hugging our friends and realizing at the same time that there are wives and children and family members and friends who were not able to do the same, but we are still thankful to have our friends home again!

We were also very happy for our friends James and Stephanie who got engaged last night, and are looking forward to their wedding in February! I am really excited to help Steph with all the wedding plans, and do whatever I can for our sweet friends!

It's just Clifford and I tonight since Matt is out in the desert for work until tomorrow afternoon, but my puppers is keeping me warm here on the couch and I am just happy to have my little family all here in the same country!!!

Farm Thoughts

2009-10-16T13:11:00.001-07:00

A Farm Weekend By: Kara Holmes (Tara and Craig’s niece, and Auntie Liz’s daughter)

If you were to ask me a year ago what I thought about all of this farm business, I would have said I didn’t want anything to do with it. I would have said that I am sick of hearing about chickens and pigs and sustainable crops every time I went to visit my aunt and uncle in San Francisco. I would have said that since we are a military family, my husband and I had different plans for our life that would never include taking care of animals and crops on a farm up in Petaluma (which seemed to me to be the middle of nowhere). I would have said I liked the whole sail boat venture WAY better than this new farm idea. That was last year…before I was able to see the dream of owning this farm put into action. I just got home from a weekend trip up to the farm to visit my mom, Auntie Liz, and drop off her dog, who we have been watching for the summertime until she got settled on the farm. I was anticipating a lot of work, which I didn’t really want to do on my little mini-vacation, but what I experienced was more than I would have ever expected. There has never before been a time in my life where my favorite family members have lived all together in one place, and I have never even dreamed of all of them actually eating meals together every day, or working together toward a common goal. That was completely out of the question…until my aunt and uncle decided they wanted more for their lives. Their willingness to risk everything in order to start and build an organic farm hasn’t only benefited them, but has benefited our whole family, and the community around them. The farm is open to all kinds of people from all over the world who share a common goal of wanting to work hard to produce fresh, healthy meat and produce for the community, and people who are willing to open themselves up in order to teach other people how to do it too! Everyone on the farm comes together to take care of something…whether it be people, chickens, pigs, turkeys, cats, dogs, vegetables, or fruit, and each of them gives their all to make sure that everyone and everything has everything they need to grow and thrive. It was wonderful to spend quality time with my mom, Auntie Liz, who is in charge of taking care of the people on the farm by making sure they have a hot meal for breakfast and dinner every day, and gathering the eggs from the laying hens. When you know deep down inside that you are providing healthy food to busy, hungry, hard working people, it just warms your heart. Though everyone on the farm has certain tasks that they are responsible for, it is also amazing to see everyone come together to do whatever needs to be done, and help out wherever they can. If you were to ask me years ago whether my family would be living and working all together in order to improve the lives of others, I would have said no way because they were all in different states, working various jobs, and devoting their lives to their own little families within the family. Today, it is amazing to see that what started out as a little idea has now become the foundation for bringing my family together, and strengthening not only my own family, but the families in the community as well.

A year ago I would have told you that my husband and I were completely devoted to the military, and to his career above all else, but after experiencing our first deployment, we realized that what matters most in life is just spending time with each other. Although we don’t know for sure what our future will hold, we do know that we want to have a close family, and that some time on the farm is somewhere in our future. When Matt leaves for deployment next year, I will be heading up to the farm to stay for 5 months while he is gone. I can’t wait to experience that time on the farm with my family, and to contribute whatever I can in order to provide the food and experiences that will strengthen our family, and the community. I used to think happiness was mostly about having money, and having enough money to go on expensive vacations, or on the sail boat out in the Caribbean, but the more I experience time with my family on the farm, the more I realize it wasn’t the vacations or the boat that made me happy, it was being able to spend quality time with my family. Now that the farm has gone from a dream to a realization, there will always be a place where my family can come together, and spend quality time with one another. What more could I ever ask for? I want to thank Tara and Craig for not being afraid to take a risk in order to bring true abundance into their lives, and my mom and step-dad and everyone else on the farm for supporting them in creating that abundance…abundance of learning, love, family, food, and helping others. It is an abundance that has touched my life and my heart forever, and something that my husband and I want to do all we can to support it in order to bring that same abundance into the lives of our future family.

There are no rules to this thing...

2009-09-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

This quote from the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" is one that will no doubt stay with me forever. I am realizing more and more that things don't just happen by chance...that there is a reason, a plan, and divine intervention.

Over the summer I took a group counseling class as part of my master's degree program. I was enrolled to take the class last summer and ended up dropping it because I didn't have time to work and take 3 classes at the same time. The class came around again this summer and I was truly changed by the professor of the class, and by my classmates. We all took part in our own group therapy-group, and it was truly amazing to bond with each and every member of the group through sharing of our own life experiences. This class led me to see the ways in which I discount myself...Thinking I am always less than I really am, or worse at things than I really am. With encouragement from my group-mates, I promised to give myself a chance, and be willing to take risks in order to continue finding the things I truly love about myself.

The night of our last group meeting was my big break-through, and I left that night open to new opportunities for my own growth. When I got home and checked my e-mail I found the class schedule from our yoga studio, and it listed a class called "The Artist's Way" with a description that the class was an expressive arts therapy class and was meant to help people rediscover their creativity and internal gifts of creating paintings, clay work, drawings, and art through writing. If it weren't for my group class I would have never had the courage to sign up...but I immediately sent out an e-mail to the teacher for the class telling her I wanted to register immediately! After talking to Judy, the teacher, I could hardly wait for our first day of class to start!

My journey through this amazing class has opened up doors in my life that I slammed shut years ago. Doors that closed because people told me I wasn't good at singing, dancing, writing...doors that I closed because I didn't want to get hurt....doors that I closed because people told me "you can't" or "you will never be" or "you're stupid"....

I have rediscovered my love and talent for writing, and for being able to see an entire story like a movie in my mind...scene by scene...and I have opened the doors to the girl I was in my childhood...a girl who loved to play and imagine and dance...and who never cared what other people thought of her.

I have come to the realization that I was given these gifts by God so that I could actually use them in my life...to tell stories, write movies, let people know how much I love and care for them through letters and poetry, and love the person I really am underneath all the fear and shame...the person God has always intended me to be.

I don't think it's a coincidence that I took the group class when I did, or that I found the artist's way, or that I was told by a friend that the government is offering money to spouses who are going back to school and that my current school isn't a part of the program but the screenwriting classes I found at UCLA are all covered under the government money grant....or that I prayed for God to give me a sign that what I am doing is what He wants me to do and then I go to the movie store to get a movie for class that's already rented out and saw the Benjamin Button move, which I have been meaning to see since it came out, and that the movie talked to me through this quote...and through it's message.

I love the quote because it says that we can always start over...that we have control over our own lives...that there are no rules or way it should be done...that we can make the best or the worst of it...that we can be whoever we want to be...and that if we aren't happy, we can choose a different life for ourselves.

I will admit that I am afraid of Introduction to Screenwriting 1...I'm afraid I wont be able to do it, or no one will like my story, or that I will never make a living as a screenwriter, or that all of my family and friends will think I'm just plain crazy...But the passion and curiosity of that little girl I have found within myself again overrides it all...and pushes me to take the first step...to take a risk...to change my life's work and who I am and want to be...and for once in my life...I AM LISTENING TO HER!

When will you take your place?

2009-08-11T17:59:00.000-07:00

This semester has been one of the best I have ever had at school, with my group therapy class easily being the best class I have ever taken as a graduate student. Not only am I learning a lot about how to lead groups for clients in the future, but I am also bonding with my classmates and learning about myself and my own strengths and struggles. With only two classes left, I went to class last night feeling a little sad that I wouldn't be seeing my classmates and professor every week anymore, and decided to share a bit of what I have learned about myself over the past 12 weeks. After I shared my own experience and inner life struggles with self-esteem, confidence, and feeling somewhat unworthy, my professor said something to me that I will never forget. He said:

"When will you take your place at the banquet of life?"

The imagery and power behind this one sentence spoke to me, and I immediately knew that until I value and love myself, I will never take my place at the banquet of life. I know that many people, especially women, struggle with feelings of unworthiness because of their past experiences or societal pressures, and I wonder if more people wouldn't benefit from hearing this simple quote about standing up for yourself and making sure you have your own place in life.

That's the reason I am doing what I am doing. I could have gone down a different road, and would have been finishing up law school next year if I would have decided to continue pursuing that field...But I am studying psychology instead and learning to be a therapist because there are too many people in this world who have never been told that they are worthy and valuable, and that they deserve a place in this banquet of life.

My journey toward taking my own place at the banquet of life isn't over yet...and if fact, is just beginning! It's a long road that leads to the undoing of years of letting life pass you bye, but it's a road worth traveling down in order to take control of myself and prepare myself to truly take my place at the banquet of life.

I am so excited to be taking this journey, and I know that self-love and self-value are waiting for me at the other end of the tunnel. I am officially kick-starting my journey by taking an art-yoga-therapy class at our yoga studio! The class focuses on finding your inner self, and the child within you that has been lost to the negative experiences of life through creative art, movement, imagery, and writing. I hope that this class will be a big step in finding the little girl I used to be who was never afraid to speak her mind, dance to her own music, and be her own happy person! I hope to use what I learn in this class to then help others find the love for and confidence in themselves that will lead them directly to their own place at this wonderful banquet of life!!!

Check out this blog!!!!

2009-07-13T11:43:00.000-07:00

I know it's been forever since I posted on here...but I do get on to check everyone else's blogs all the time! I have actually been busy working on a blog for my family farm up in San Francisco and I wanted all of you to check it out :) Just go to: tarafirmafarms.com (blogger page)

My aunt and uncle are business geniuses who built their own long term care insurance company from the ground up. They have done and experienced almost everything...and are now setting out on a more family/environment oriented adventure. They began Tara Firma Farms, an all natural, chemical free, cruelty free becoming organic farm that offers fresh produce and meat. The vision for the farm is to bring both my family and other people's families together to experience what it is like to be environmentally conscious in raising animals and growing produce.

My mom and dad have been on the farm for a few months now helping out in any way they can, and believe so much in the vision for the farm that they are going back and forth between there home in Michigan and the farm in order to be a part of this wonderful experience. I was lucky enough to be able to visit the farm back in May, and had an amazing time taking care of the animals and setting up a green house where all the produce begins growing. It's an amazing experience to have all of my family together after being separated by distance for so long, and I am excited about living up on the farm next summer since Matt will be gone. Hopefully I can talk some of my friends into coming out next summer and seeing what the farm is all about!!! (Cara, Natalie, Toni, Taylor, Steph, Becky...This means YOU!)

Please check out their blog and become followers so you can see what's going on up there, and please feel free to give me tips on how I can improve the blog too!

P.S. I am about to fill up Clifford's puppy pool with water and stand back with my camera... so I will be posting pics of that soon!!! :)

Hard to believe...

2009-06-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that exactly year ago yesterday Matt and I packed up his stuff and made the drive to base so that he could set out on what was one of the hardest things we had ever done so far as a couple...his first deployment. Sometimes it still feels like just yesterday I was hugging him for the last time in 7 months (but what felt like the last time in forever) and then walking away with tears in my eyes, leaving him standing there alone. We found ourselves saying goodbye once again this morning, and, although this time it was just for a few days, I couldn't help the tears from falling. No...I'm not crazy, and I know he will be back by the end of the weekend, but the memory of the last time we said goodbye is still in my heart, and brought up all those emotions of sadness and longing.

As you other pilot's wives know being a new guy in a squadron isn't easy, and on top of everything else he has to do, Matt is coming off of a year break from flying since the Marines needed him to fill another much needed spot in Iraq. He is more busy now then he has ever been, and doing an amazing job working and flying even though he is overwhelmed and exhausted. It would be easy for him to get angry and lose sight of his passion for flying and serving his country amid all of the stress...but he still comes home every night excited about just flying the best he can.

I am so proud of Matt, and proud of the life that we are building together! Sometimes it's hard when I realize that there so many things I want to do and share with him that I will end up doing on my own because of his schedule...and it's easy to feel a little lonely. But then I realize how lucky I am to have Matt in my life at all...and how amazing it is to be able to build a marriage and life with him...and I can't help but be filled with happiness.

You could say that military wives have to go through a lot...and that's true. There's lot that we have to deal with that other wives don't...there are more goodbyes, more missed holidays, more planning our lives around his schedule, more time spent sleeping alone at night...But we also get to experience our lives and marriages with depth that can only be reached through a little suffering. We all know first hand what our daily lives would be like without our husbands in them, so there is no time to take him for granted...we learn to soak up every moment, and let the joy and happiness we feel last as long as possible. Our love is not one that can only last if it is nurtured day in and day out...but a love that reaches over thousands of miles to keep us closer to one another than a couple who spends every day together. It's no ordinary life...and it's no ordinary love.

Although this weekend will include one of those times when Matt and I are not able to share an exciting event in our lives together, (picking up our puppy) it's another opportunity for us both to know just how loved we are...it's an opportunity for us to lean on our friends and share our life experiences with them. Instead of going to pick up Clifford by myself on Sunday, our friend Stephanie will be there with me to take pictures and keep him from eating my car on the ride home. I cannot describe in words how much love and support our friends bring into our life together, or how much I love all of them. The time I spent with our friends here in San Diego, and with Cara in Virginia last year, led to the deepening of my friendships in ways I never knew possible.

The life of a military wife is many things...but for me, it's a life filled with more love than any one person was ever meant to have...and I thank God for this life... through the struggles and triumphs... each and every day.

Puppy Update

2009-06-14T23:19:00.001-07:00

After picking out Clifford last weekend, we have been counting down the weeks until we can go back and finally bring him home! Our breeder Cathy sent us some updated pictures of the puppies tonight, and they are SO cute!!! Ugh...it's gonna be so hard to wait another two weeks! We are beginning to get everything Clifford will need, and to puppy proof the house, though, so it's good that we have some time to prepare for the first addition to our family :) We will keep you all updated as we get closer to "P-DAY" (puppy day).

Here are the pics...the only problem is that they all look so much alike, we can't tell for sure which one is Clifford! They are all super cute though ;)

We think he might be the little guy sleeping by the frog in the second pic...

Which one do you think is Clifford?

Pretty sure that's him napping by the frog...we will have to get him one when he comes home! Gosh, lab puppies are the cutest little things in the whole world, aren't they? Can't wait!!!

Summer 2009...so far!

2009-06-07T10:29:00.000-07:00

Wow...this summer is starting out busy, but soooo amazing! I feel like a million things have happened since May...Cara's walk in Texas, school starting, a trip to Big Bear, hanging out with friends in San Diego, my friends Toni and Corey getting engaged, my mom's dog coming to visit, and picking out the newest member of the Holmes family!!! Here is a quick summery of each:

Cara's Corps 2009 in Houston, TX: I was honored to join Cara in Texas again this year for her walk...and I am so happy that her and P finally got to hang out in their favorite place together again, and take their honeymoon too! The walk was amazing...there were almost double the people from last year and we raised over $10,000! I know that we all love Cara so much that we just won't sit back and let CF win...we will fight it together until there is cure! I always feel so lucky to be able to go to Texas and spend time with Cara and her family (Shiner too!) and friends...and this trip was wonderful as usual!

P.S. Just a small tip for those of you who ever get the chance to try Cara's step-mom Rosalba's sangria...If you start eating the fruit in the bottom of the pitcher you may not be able to stand afterward! ;) But it's soooooo good!

Cara and I with Warren...It's a tradition!

Out at a bar that ISN"T filled with smoke! I love Cara and her friends!

The team at the walk!

School starting isn't that exciting...I am taking Group Therapy, Maladaptive, and Development. Can't you hear me bursting with excitement? Yeah pry not...But it is nice to be back in school and learning how to help people who really need it. I am setting up a volunteer site at a hospice in San Diego so I can start getting some good experience before I do my internship next year, so I will keep you all updated on how that goes. One of my friends from school, Caroline, is getting married in a few weeks and Matt and I are very excited to go to our first wedding together!

For Memorial Day we decided to head up to Big Bear and rent a cabin for a few days. It was tons of fun but very dry and we had to adjust to that! We had a lot of fun cooking out, hiking, going out on the lake, and watching an outdoor movie with all the neighbors. It is absolutely beautiful up there in the mountains, and we both felt like it was a nice mini-vacation.

On the way up!

Fishing on the lake...we didn't catch anything but we still had fun!

We finally found a "big bear" ;)

I was very excited when my friend Toni called me to let me know that she and her boyfriend Corey got engaged! It was very cute...He had a puzzle made with their picture on it and inside the puzzle box was the ring! Can't wait for their wedding next June! Believe it or not, we are figuring out what I would have to do to be able to legally officiate the ceremony!!! They wanted someone close to them to do it and not a stranger, and I am honored that they asked me :) I will let you know how preparations are going! You can check out pics of Toni and Corey in my blog before this!

We have enjoyed hanging out with our friends here in San Diego too! Most of the time we all make dinner and hang out at one of our houses, or go out to eat, or bbq, or go out downtown. There are so many things to do here in SD...and I am so excited that Matt will be here this summer to experience all of the fun with me :) We do miss our friends who are deployed...James, Tom, and the rest of the guys...and are keeping them in our prayers all the time!

We are just waiting for the ocean to warm up a bit and then we will be going out surfing every weekend...so I am really looking forward to that! We are also planning on going to a lot of baseball games and doing other fun things over the summer where we can get big groups of us to go :)

A few weeks ago my mom sent her dog Buffy out so that we could watch her for the summer, and it has been great! She is great practice for our lab puppy and we have had so much fun playing with her and taking her on walks! She is a sweet girl, poodle-shish tzu mix, and 10 years old, but she still acts and plays like a puppy! She is in love with Matt and is always laying on him, cuddling up to him, and crying when he leaves...haha, it's the cutest thing! We will have Buffy until about September, and are hoping she can teach our puppy lots of good things :)

She looooves her new bed and stuffed duck!

Hey! That used to be my spot!

First, I just have to say that the following pictures are two of our favorite labs Shiner and Tucker's fault...Ever since we met Tucker over a year ago at the Durnin's house we knew we wanted to get a lab someday! Then, to make matters worse...I was able to meet and spend time with Shiner when I stayed with Cara over the winter....and then got to see him again when I went to Texas! Matt and I just couldn't stand it anymore, and even moved to a new townhouse so that we could get a dog...and seeing Shi a few weeks ago and having Buffy just pushed us over the edge! We were in full puppy-fever and couldn't stop looking for breeders online. We were lucky enough to find an amazing breeder with the sweetest dogs...and went "just look" at puppies on Saturday (which was the highlight of our week). Well...this is what happened:

First we met the parents...Pat and Sedona! Pat, who weighs 110lbs, came in and immediately leaned against us and rolled over on his back all flopped out on the floor so we would scratch his belly. Sedona sat quietly and sweetly and just looked up at us with loving eyes that begged for a good petting. They were absolutely perfect and well-behaved, and they are only 2 1/2! We knew immediately that we wanted a dog just like Pat because he is a mixture of Tucker and Shiner and got soooo excited to play with the puppies!

Then we met the puppies! There were 4 male puppies left and we spent 2 hours on the floor playing with each of them and trying to get a feel for their little personalities :) We both agreed that this guy (the biggest of the litter) looked the most like his dad and had a balance of courage, playfulness, and just plain love...

No one could resist that face!!! Not even Matt...who was very careful to not let me get my hopes up too much since this was the first time we went out looking at puppies. But...it was love at first sight ;) He is going to be an amazing daddy!!!

So here he is...our little puppy Clifford! He is 5 weeks old and we get to pick him up in 3 weeks :) We can't wait, and are so excited to officially add the first member to our family!!! We will keep you updated on his growth...he is going to be a big boy, and I know from watching Shi that he will be an adult before we know it!

Well...that's our summer so far, and I can't wait to see what the coming months will bring us! I am overjoyed that I get to spend this summer with Matt and our little family and friends...and plan to force all of our other friends to come and visit! (You all know who you are...Cara and P, Kasey, Erin, Toni and Corey, Natalie and Shane, Taylor and Jon, and everyone else who isn't here on the west coast) .

Congrats to Toni and Corey!!!

2009-05-26T15:02:00.001-07:00

My friends Toni and Corey got ENGAGED last Friday!!!! I'm so excited for them :) I have known Toni since I was 2... her grandma watched us both at her house down the street from where I lived...and we have been friends ever since! We were definitely both lucky to be able to grow up together and grow together through all the stages of our lives. Since I moved to San Diego two years ago, we have been far apart distance wise - but I know we will always be best friends no matter how apart we live from one another.

I was lucky enough to be there the night Toni met Corey, and I have liked him ever since! I was so happy when they finally started dating about year ago because I think they are perfect for each other!!! Can't wait for the wedding next summer :) Congrats guys!!!

Toni and Corey

Toni and me

So proud of him!!!

2009-05-15T00:13:00.000-07:00

Today Matt had his first solo flight after a year out of the cockpit. Right after he finished the rag last year, he was sent on IA to Iraq and wasn't able to fly while he was there. He is just doing a short refresher course back at the rag before he goes into a squadron in a few weeks, and today was his first flight by himself. We were both really excited and I drove to base and waited at the park at the end of the runway so I could see him.

It was so exciting, and I am SO proud of him for having such an amazing attitude over the past year with everything that has been going on! Next time maybe he can sneak me in his bag...I am so jealous he gets to do this all the time!!! ;)

Here are some pics I took of him taking off:

Gettin' Down on the Farm

2009-05-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

I just got back from San Fransisco this Saturday, and had a blast up there on my aunt and uncle's new farm. They bought a 300+ acre farm north of SF in a town called Petaluma, and it is absolutely gorgeous!!! They are business owners who decided that family is very important and wanted to provide a place for our family and other families to come and work together for the greater good. They will also be selling organic produce and meat in order to pay for the farm and keep everything going. Things are just getting started but here is what they have so far:

6 1/2 cows, 1 full grown momma and her baby, two teenage cows, two new borns, and a mentally challenged cow who just hangs out with the others and enjoys turning in left circles...(long story)

94 3 week old chickens

10 pigs

The animals are all sooo cute....well, minus the momma cow who tried to butt the 4-wheeler! I had so much fun taking care of them and just watching them eat, play, and live happy lives. Of course all of the animals are being raised for meat, but I feel good knowing that they are being raised in a happy, healthy environment.

I was lucky enough to be able to see the birth of two cows while I was there and it was AMAZING! (Although it also looked very painful) Sadly, the first cow to be born was not alive upon delivery :( But, the vet reached back in to discover that the mom was pregnant with TWINS and the next cow was small, but healthy, and unbelievably cute! It is very rare for cows to have twins, and it is common for one of the twins to be disfigured, which is what happened to the first cow. Luckily, nature has a way of righting itself, and the cow was stillborn so it didn't have to be put down.

I was also lucky enough to be involved in rescuing another new born from being sold off to become veal! No matter what anyone says, it is still common practice for veal cows to be treated horribly, and lucky for this little guy, he will have a happy and healthy life for a few years to come :)

I got to teach the two new borns how to drink from a bottle...Although I think I got more milk on myself than I did in their tummy's at first! They caught on quickly though and are both thriving in their new environment with a foster mom (my mom, who is feeding them now).

It was so great to spend time in a place that isn't as crowded as San Diego, and to be able to spend time with my family and the animals! I am planning on going up there to live for a few months next time Matt deploys so that I can help out! :) I am working on a blog for the farm right now, so I will keep you all updated so you can see it when it's up!

Here are some pictures of my family and the farm:

Our Wedding

2009-04-28T23:49:00.000-07:00

Matt and I have now been married for almost 3 weeks...and I have to say that marriage is the best thing ever!!! It has taken me forever to actually write something about the wedding for a couple of reasons...

1. I knew when I wrote a blog about the wedding it would really hit me that it's already over! Time passed so quickly, and part of me is sad that it's already over :( However, I am beyond excited for the life that Matt and I have in front of us!!!

2. I didn't think I could actually put my feelings on that wonderful day into words, and truly express how amazing every moment of it really was!

3. I have been waiting for our pictures and videos to get all edited and touched up so that I could share them with everyone :)

So, without further delay...Here is a video Matt's dad filmed and edited for us:

I can only add that it was the most amazing day and week of my life. It meant the world to me to have our families there with us, and to be able to spend so much time with them! The ceremony was absolutely perfect...full of love and laughter, which really represents who we are as a couple. All I wanted to do was just freeze time and just soak up every moment of the ceremony...and every moment we spent in Mexico!!!

I have to admit that I cried when we left, and for a few days after just because I truly had the time of my life and didn't want it to ever end. We both agree that we want to take a real honeymoon (more than just a day) whenever we can...and that other than stopping time so that we could linger in those amazing moments forever...we wouldn't have changed a thing!!!

Every time something reminds me of Mexico, the beach, or the ocean I am immediately transported back to the most amazing week of my life, and my heart is filled with happiness and love. I am forever changed by the experiences we shared down in Cabo...and can't wait to see what wonderful adventures await us in our lives together!!!

You can help them breathe easy!!!

2009-04-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

It's Spring again, and that means the annual Great Strides walk is coming up again in Houston, Texas! Great Strides is an organization that raises money for research on Cystic Fibrisis, and each and every dollar brings us closer to a cure for this disease. I am passionate about this walk because God sent an angel into my life in the form of an amazing woman named Cara Durnin. I met Cara and her husband Patrick last year at a Christmas party I went to with Matt, and we have been great friends ever since! I think sometimes people come into your life and you know that you will be friends with them forever...No matter what happens! I knew right away that Cara was one of those people, and even though her and her husband were stationed in Virginia last year, we have remained great friends. Cara was nice enough to let me come and stay with her this year while Matt and Patrick were deployed, and I ended up spending 3 months with her and her sweet dog Shiner. While I was staying with Cara I was able to give back by working closely with the USO in Norfolk, and give back to the amazing military men and women who sacrifice for us each and every day. Without Cara's help I would have never been able to have this amazing experience, and my life would not be the same today. On top of working full time, taking care of Shiner, entertaining me, and volunteering her time to help me with the USO, Cara also dealt with the symptoms of her Cystic Fibrosis, which often left her exhausted and sick...And her strength was something that truly inspired me each and every day. Cara has been an amazing support to me from the very first day we met, and has been an amazing friend to those around her all her life.

Last year I was able to join Cara in Texas for the Great Strides walk, and it was one of the most amazing times of my life! Not only was I able to support Cara in finding a cure for Cystic Fibrosis, but I was also able to meet all of Cara's friends and family, and see how each of them are truly touched by Cara simply being in their lives. Every time I visit Cara in Virginia or Texas I feel truly at home...because she is the kind of person who makes everyone feel special and loved. I feel so lucky to have been able to spend those 3 months with Cara and Shiner, and I always miss the amazing times we had just sitting on the couch laughing at Shiner or at something on tv, traveling in New York and Texas, and baking cookies and ham for the USO every week....But most of all, I just miss having such an inspiring friend around me every day. Cara inspires me to be a better friend, wife, women of God, mother to a dog (someday soon)...and to appreciate even the small things in life.

I know that you all have someone in your life who has truly changed you for the better, and inspired you to live a better life. When Cara was young, there were many times when the doctors told her parents that their daughter would not make it to see her next birthday because of this horrible disease. When I think about it, I can't even imagine how my life would be different today if those doctors had been right. There are many young children who die every day from Cystic Fibrosis...Children who will never be able to make a difference in people's lives like Cara has.

During my time in Virginia Cara lost a few of her friends to CF...Women who were friends, and wives, and mothers, and fellow angels. These women didn't have to die...I know that we can find a cure for this disease, and save so many amazing people!

In just a few weeks Cara will arrive at the Naval Base as her husband's carrier pulls back in to port, and they will be reunited after an 8 month deployment. They will then travel to Texas for Cara's walk, and head down to Mexico for their honeymoon after 2 years of marriage. Cara has a great life ahead of her...a life full of celebrating a wonderful marriage, welcoming children into the world, and bringing so much love into the lives of her family and friends. The average life expectancy for someone with CF is 37...Cara is 27. Ten more years is just not enough...so please help us give her and her fellow Cf-ers the greatest gift of all...the gift of more time.

The following is a video that will introduce you to Cara and to this horrible disease. Every little gift counts...So please go to the link below, or to the link at the end of this video and give what you can to help us find a cure now!!!

I love you all, and you are all a blessing in my life! Please help me to keep another one of my blessings breathing easy!!! :)

http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/dsp_DonationPage.cfm?walkid=5860&idUser=223697

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltcmLCiO6xs&feature=player_embedded

A love that cannot be earned...

2009-03-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went back to my favorite church in San Diego and participated in a gathering of Christians that truly touched my heart. The message tonight was about God's love...and that the only way to reach God is through his son Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, God's love cannot be earned, but is given freely to all of humanity. The sad thing about this free love is that many people don't know about it, or about Jesus' life and love for them. It got me thinking about how many people in my life don't know that I have a relationship with God and see Jesus' love each and every day in my life....And that my belief in God is too powerful to not tell other people about his wonderful love.

Christianity teaches us through the actual events of Jesus' life that there is nothing you can do to earn God's love, but that God's love is freely given, and all our sins are forgiven before we even commit them. There is nothing you have to do to get God to love you and bless you...and if you want to know him all you have to do is seek Him, and you will find Him.

Christianity was meant from the beginning to be the most inclusive religion in the world because Jesus didn't come to the earth and say: "I am dying to forgive the sins of the Jews," or "I am dying to save the people who are perfect," or "I am only dying to save those who are black or white or brown" Jesus came to the earth and died so that He could forgive the sins of EVERYONE, and pave the way for ANYONE to know God's amazing love.

Many times people perceive Christianity to be a religion that tries too hard to convince people to join the religion...But the following may help to explain why Christians are so adamant about spreading the word of Christ to the entire world.

I have known God since I was a very small girl...Almost as far back as I can remember. I went to church and learned about God and Jesus there, but my real relationship with Jesus started because God himself reached out to me and let himself be known to me. I had an understanding of God and what His love meant to me at such a young age, and it was this knowing God and understanding His amazing love that truly saved my life over and over again as I grew up and faced the hardships that came my way. I was the happiest in my life when I felt close to God...and without Him, I know that I would not be living the life I am blessed to live today.

If you were me and you experienced the same life-changing love and happiness that I experienced in knowing Jesus, then you would come to understand why I want to tell people all about Christianity, and why I would want them to be able to experience the same unconditional love that I have experienced. People are passionate about Jesus because He has truly made a difference in their lives...and if you believe in Him and seek a relationship with Him then you will see His love...which has been with you your whole life. Jesus came to die for you...to forgive your sins, and offer His amazing love to YOU.

I first read what is now my favorite bible verse on Cara's blog...and I wanted to share it with you too! It's Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

God has plans for You...wonderful plans that include His amazing, freely given love. There's nothing you can do to make God love you...He loved you before you were even born...and He will love you everyday of your life no matter what!

My hope is that all of you can come to know God, or strengthen the relationship you already have with Him...and always see His amazing love in your life.

It's been forever...

2009-03-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

I know that it has been forever since I last posted a blog...It seems like things have just been crazy since Matt got home, and we have been going non-stop! Since he got home 51 days ago we have...

1. Gone to Hawaii
2. Gone to check out our wedding spot
3. Re-organized our little apartment
4. Spent time with all of our friends who are deploying sooner than expected :(
5. Printed and sent out wedding invitations
6. Visited with my parents here in San Diego
7. Planned everything for the wedding...
8. Moved to a new townhouse
9. Got my engagement ring re-sized
10. Bought our wedding bands
11. Planned our bachelor/bachelorette party
12. Packed and un-packed all of our stuff
13. Been working...well, Matt has ;)
14. Taken the test to become a substitute teacher in California (Kara)
15. Gotten to know each other again after a long 7 months!

It has been great and busy at the same time since Matt has been home, and I am thankful to have him back each and every day. Deployments are definitely not easy...not in the beginning or the end...But we have gotten and are getting through it together!

We are very excited about the wedding!!! We checked our mail for the first time last night at the new house and we were attacked by RSVP cards busting out of our little mailbox :) We were very excited to get them...and feel so much love from both the people who are coming and those who can't make it as well. We love all of our friends so much and can't wait to see them all again in the summertime!!!

I couldn't sleep last night because I was up late thinking about all of our friends who are dealing with deployment right now...Cara and Patrick, Erin and John, Jen and Eli, Tania and Doug, Stephanie and James, and all of our single friends too! My heart truly goes out to them, and I am so proud of each and every one of them for making this sacrifice and being so strong. The military can be hard to deal with...But, for me, it's worth it to be a part of something bigger than just myself. I can honestly look at Matt and I, and all of our friends and see people with amazing passion, character, strength, and love. I have looked my whole life for friends like these...and have found a few along the way...but not like I have found within our military family over the past year and a half. I am thinking of all of you...and love you all!!!

Well, Stephanie just dropped off my little buddy Jack the chihuahua, and he is hanging out here for a few hours today while she is at work. Jack is the cutest little dog, and he definitely made me smile every time I saw him even when I was sad that Matt was gone on deployment. He is a little sad at the moment since his mommy just left...so I am going to go play with him for a while.

I am sending out care packages to Cara, Erin, and Jen this week...So keep an eye out girls! :)

Only a month until the wedding....I can't believe it's so soon!!!

Last but not least...I promise to be better about blogging now that we are in our new home and things are calmed down a bit.

He's Home...

2009-01-20T12:57:00.000-08:00

I don't have much time to blog...But I just wanted to say that Matt is HOME!!! And I couldn't be happier :) He is my hero and I am so proud of him...I am not letting him go for a LONG time now!!! How lucky am I that I get to be his wife in less than 90 days! I can't wait...

Ok...gotta go! Lots to do ;) Thanks to Cara and Patrick for being such great friends to us both, and we will be thinking of both of them, and praying that time passes quickly. We are proud of both of you and understand how hard this is at times...but we all know that it's worth it!!!

Love you all...Kara and Matt

Photo Tag

2009-01-15T19:34:00.000-08:00

Alright...so Cara tagged me in her blog and asked me to find the fourth picture in the fourth folder where my pictures are stored. I had no idea what it would be...but after I found it, I realized it couldn't have been better :)

This is a picture of my very first surfboard the day I picked it up! I was so excited and spent a lot of time just looking at it, taking off the old wax and putting on new wax, and throwing it in the back of my 4-runner, which I had always wanted to do! (It may have even influenced my decision to buy a 4-runner in the first place)

This is a great picture because it sort of represents my new life in San Diego. A little over a year and a half ago I moved to San Diego from Michigan, and only knew one person! My roommate, Desire, taught one of my classes a few years ago, and welcomed me to San Diego with open arms. She definitely was a savior for me because she showed me around and encouraged me to meet people and put myself out there. We had lots of fun in our tiny apartment with all our animals!

I began surfing with people I had met here, and absolutely loved it! It took a lot of courage to try and paddle out into the ocean, and there were a few times I was afraid I might drown!!! But I kept at it, and as my skills at surfing increased, so did my confidence! I surfed a lot with a friend of mine who was also from Michigan, and he lived across the hall from Matt and his roommate Joe. He introduced me to Matt...and the rest is history!!! Surfing taught me to work at what I wanted, and to chase after it even if I was afraid. It also taught me to better communicate my fears, and self-limiting beliefs. It truly helped me to seek out the life I wanted...and the friendships, relationship, and family that I wanted too!

I love to surf with anyone who likes to go out! It has definitely brought me closer to Matt, and my friends James, Stephanie, and Leslie! I couldn't think of anything I would love more than to spend a hot summer day out in the waves with the people who are closest to me! I feel free out there, and independent, and confident. I know I will surf as long as I possibly can, and that I will love every minute of it :)

After a challenging day of surfing with Matt and James, we all decided that my surfboard was a little too big for me because I had a hard time getting it out in bigger waves. So...I sold my beloved board to a friend of ours and now it is his turn to voyage out into the ocean with her. I have since stolen Matt's board, which I named Cali-lilly, and it have been in love with her ever since! I can paddle out with a lot less effort, and have been able to get up on most of the waves I tried to go for. The only problem now is that he is coming home soon and I may not be able to give her back to him very easily! ;)

I can't wait to spend this summer with Matt, and paddle out into the waves with him on all those perfect, blue and golden days!!! Hopefully my experiences this summer have prepared me for him to come back, and I will actually be better than him now ;) Stand by for an update...not long now!!!

Thanks for the tag Cara...I love this picture, and have loved explaining it's meaning to everyone!

My Christmas present...

2009-01-02T18:52:00.000-08:00

Well, my Christmas present came a little early this year...No, Matt didn't miraculously show up at my door, unfortunately :( But, besides that, I couldn't have asked for a better gift. I spent Christmas eve traveling from Virginia and Atlanta to see my family, and the people I encountered along the way truly touched my heart!

My first flight from Virginia to Charlotte flew by, since I fell asleep right when we took off and woke up just as we were landing. In Charlotte I had an hour lay over, so I headed to my gate and sat down. I made a stop at the bathroom and a girl started talking to me about how she had just helped a young girl who was diabetic and had low blood sugar. She said that she was nervous about approaching the girl, but that the girl and her boyfriend looked scared and didn't seem to know what to do. She said that she had put a granola bar in her bag earlier that morning, and then had been able to give it to the girl to help her to get her blood sugar up. She was a really nice girl, and I was truly touched by her story! I felt lucky to have been able to talk with her, and was very glad that she approached me.

I headed back to the gate and heard that they were taking volunteers to take a later flight so that the people who had been overbooked could have a seat on the flight. I called my mom to see where they were since her and my step-dad were driving down to Atlanta from Michigan. When my mom told me they were still a ways away, I went up to the counter, but all the spots had already been given up. So, I boarded the plane and found my seat. At the last minute, they called for one more volunteer, and I immediately raised my hand. As I was walking off the plane, there was a Marine standing there, waiting to take my seat. I looked at him and wanted to say Semper Fi!!! But instead, my eyes filled up with tears as I thought about him being able to make it home for Christmas. I smiled through the tears and watched him walk onto the plane. I felt so honored to be able to help another Marine this Christmas...and was truly touched that God gave me the opportunity to give up my seat for someone who really needed it!!! Outside at the desk one of the guys working for the airline thanked me for giving up my seat, and I told him it was a blessing for me to give what I could to help another Marine!

While I was waiting for my next plane, a man was sitting beside me started telling me how the two young boys on the other side of him were his kids and that they lived with their mother in Atlanta. He talked about how he didn't know if he was the best father, but he did know that he was teaching them to love God, and other people. His kind words warmed my heart once again, and I was blessed to be able to hear his story. It's wonderful to know that some dad's are really doing the best they can to raise their children and teach them the important things in life!

Of course when I sat down in my seat on the plane, I sat next to a girl marine!!! She was on her way to see her fiance who was in the Army, and hadn't seen him in over a year. She was so excited, and her and I talked about being away from the person that you love, and then being able to see them again. We talked about how other people really don't understand deployments, and how it's nice to talk with the few people who do. It was great to hear her story, and to talk with her about her concerns and excitement about her upcoming reunion with the love of her life. When I walked off the plane her fiance was there waiting for her, and the tears came again when they hugged and smiled and walked away hand in hand.

Between all the people I met during my trip, and being able to spend a week with my family, this Christmas was one of the best I have ever had! I felt so blessed to have the opportunity to meet so many people, and hear their story. I also felt lucky to have the chance to spend a whole week with my family...especially my mom since this is the last time I will spend with her before I get married. I felt more loved this Christmas than I ever have...and I am so thankful to have Matt, my family, his family, and all of my friends!!!

My New Years this year was great too! I actually got sick on the plane ride back to Virginia on New Years Eve...but I was able to be online with Matt when New Years came in Iraq, and spend him lots of skype kisses!!! Cara and I just stayed in and watched the ball drop in NY on tv...and I was thankful to have her here with me...even though I felt like I ruined her New Years since I couldn't go out...she insisted that she would rather just stay in. I am so blessed with such wonderful friends!!!

This is going to be an amazing year...filled with hope, love, friendship, marriage, celebration, and a million amazing memories!!! I Just want to thank God for loving me enough to bless me this much...His love is more than enough for me!

New Years resolutions...

2008-12-23T17:13:00.000-08:00

I got to thinking last night about New Years resolutions...and how quickly the shallow ones I and many other people have made over the years quickly fade away. For example...a few years ago I decided to give up texting while I was driving...and on January 2nd I specifically remember texting and laughing to myself as I drove down the highway. I have never been a big fan of resolutions, or of New Years for that matter. But last year was different, and I know that every year will be amazing from here on out.

I realized thinking back to various New Years Eve's that the reason I hated so many of them is because I was just not happy with my life at that time. Living in Michigan really didn't help since it's gray pretty much from September through April...and there is literally no sun for months! While I was living there, there were so many things I didn't like about my life there, and many times I just felt like I was stuck in a world I just didn't want to be in. This is not to say that I am not thankful for the family and friends I have in Michigan...but my whole life I just never felt like I was at home when I was there.

Last year, New Years was different. I actually spent New Years with my family in Tahoe, and got to see an amazing display of fireworks timed to music high up on the snow covered mountain. I loved spending that time with my family, and had a blast skiing all over the mountain and hanging out in our amazing hotel right at the mountains edge. Although it was wonderful to be in such a great place, spending the time with my family is what really meant the most to me.

The other thing that made New Years amazing was that I had met Matt a few months earlier and was really starting to fall in love with my amazing man! We didn't spend New Years together because we were both with our families, but just knowing him and having him in my life made the new year so special and so full of excitement and love. Matt truly brings out the best in me and I feel the most me when I am with him. He brings out the hope and excitement and happiness and joy that is in my heart. He brings out the part of me who is passionate and loves to dream big, amazing dreams. He brings out the playful girl I am inside, and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the whole world! Mostly, he brings out the love that I have always had within myself...the love that I have always wanted to give to the special person I was meant to be with forever.

This past year has been filled with so many blessings...Finding the love of my life, so many life-long friends, stating my master's degree in something I truly love, getting engaged, planning our amazing wedding, and getting to spend time with the people I love the most while Matt has been away. Of course I will miss him this New Years...but no matter what, my heart couldn't help but be filled with pure joy!

So this year...I am not making a New Years resolution that is just going to fade away. Instead, I am making a promise to myself and to Matt that I will be thankful for every moment we have together, and live everyday with him, and with our friends and family as if it were my last. I want to live out the love, happiness, passion, and confidence I have found over this past year, and live my life so that it makes a difference in the lives of others.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures that celebrate some of my favorite memories from this past year...I only hope that all of you are as blessed this year as I have been. Celebrate every moment, and always remember to love yourself and the people around you!

Matt and I on our first Christmas! We spent the day and night with all of Matt's friends, who are now also my very good friends :) It was a Christmas I will never forget!

My family and me in Tahoe on New Years Eve. What do you mean I look like I drank an entire bottle of white wine by myself? I am NOT admitting anything! We had so much fun!

I know it's kinda hard to see, but these are my San Diego girls! We had so much fun at our favorite winery, Ponte. I was overjoyed to meet so many wonderful girls...my whole life all I wanted was a bunch of girlfriends...and they were more than I could have ever hoped for!

All of the girls at Lahaina...the best bar in San Diego! Don't I look so sick?? I may or may not have called into work that day due to sickness...my code name for drunkenness ;)

Aww...this is a perfect picture illustrating how much Matt and I play! I don't remember what eh was doing to me...but I was definitely fighting back! We have so much fun :)

Texas trip with Cara! We had so much fun with all of Cara's friends hanging out and raising money for her CF walk. I was honored to spend a week with Cara in Texas, and had an absolute blast! Seconds before Matt got down on his knee and proposed to me...I was so happy and so surprised! He made me the happiest girl in the world!!!

My cousin Natalie...who was there for our engagement :) Natalie is like a sister to me, and I was so happy she could be there for one of the most special moments of my life! We snuck away from the boys at a concert and found a little bar where we downed a couple of shots and then went back for the show!

Ok, from the back we have: Rob, AJ, me, Les, James, and Tony. The San Diego crew who kept me sane this summer while I was missing Matt. I don't know what I would have done without them!!! We had so much fun, and I want to thank them for being there for me. I also need to add Stephanie and Tania to the San Diego crew , but I don't have any pictures with them :( They are two girls who definitely helped me through the long summer without the love of my life! Thanks girls! Toni and April, who have been like sisters to me since I was 2. We went to the Allman Brothers concert and it was a blast! I have no memory of taking this picture...but we all look somewhat sober right?? I love my girls!

Cara, Ashley, and me eating some good Chinese food! I have really missed them since they left in February and April, so it was great to see them both my first weekend in Virginia! Ace Wire is BACK!!! ;)

Cara and I at the very creepy karaoke bar! I have been blessed to have the opportunity to spend time with Cara and she is one of my best friends! I am really going to miss her when I go back to San Diego!
Matt having fun on his little detour to another base. I love seeing pictures of him because it makes me feel close to him! I miss him and love him, and just want to thank him for making my life more amazing than I ever thought possible.

Ann and I at the USO. Meeting Ann and spending the last few months with her at the USO has been a true blessing in my life. Ann is one of the people that inspires you to live a life of service to others. She may not have the biggest house, and she may not get the beauty sleep that so many of us need to stay youthful...but her heart is in the ranks with Mother Theresa's, and she makes an impact on people's lives (including mine) each and every day! My "Saint Ann."

It's just not Christmas this year...

2008-12-19T18:15:00.000-08:00

I didn't spend last Christmas with my family...instead, I came back from Michigan early to spend Christmas with Matt and our San Diego friends. Although I wasn't home, last Christmas felt more like home than it had in years. The guys weren't able to take leave last year because they were all still in the rag, so we had Christmas at Erin and John's house...and it was a blast! Although guitar hero was definitely the main event of the night...and on into the morning, there were a few other things that happened that night that truly changed my life! First, spending time with Matt that night was just another step in us getting to know each other better, and eventually led to us both realizing that we were meant to share our lives together forever. Second, I met all of Matt's friends, and some of them are now my closest friends, and will be for the rest of my life! Third, I remembered what it was like to just have fun during the holidays. I had so much fun with Matt and everyone, and the happiness I experienced last year will be with me this year, even though my heart and my home is half way across the world.

This Christmas, I will be with my parents and my step-dad's family in Atlanta...and I am thankful to have this opportunity. But I also know that this year just won't be the same without the love of my life here with me. For me, it won't feel like Christmas until Matt gets back in January...and I will still be in denial that the holidays are even happening until the day he is back in my arms.

I know I am not alone, and that along with Cara and Tiffany, there are many people whose one Christmas wish will not be granted this year...and their heart and home will still be deployed come Christmas morning. There are so many things that people who have not experienced deployment just do not understand...like why, when "I'll be home for Christmas" or "All I want for Christmas is you" comes on the radio or over the speakers at the mall, tears fill my eyes...or why I get so excited when I get an e-mail or a phone call from him...or why asking if Matt or any of the guys will be home for Christmas is something none of us want to hear.

This video is for all of those who have never experienced deployment...It's a reminder that Christmas just isn't the same for some people this year...and a reminder to be thankful for all the sacrifices our military men and women, and their families are making so that you can have the opportunity to celebrate this Christmas safely, and with everyone you love.

For everyone who does understand what it's like to be missing half your heart...you don't need a video or a song to make you understand...God bless you and keep you and your loved one safe this Christmas...and I know you will be loving and missing them every second until you finally get your Christmas wish, and they come home to you again.

Joy and tears...homecoming at the USO.

2008-12-14T19:52:00.000-08:00

The day before we left for Texas I was invited to take part in a welcoming back of about 200 troops from Iraq. It was an amazing experience, and one that I will remember forever. There were many smiles and many tears. It was amazing to see families and couples reunited after so long, and it truly touched my heart. I felt very lucky to share in some wonderful moments with the couples and families...seeing couples embrace and kiss each other with a passion that is rarely seen in this world, seeing little boys and girls run to their daddy's and cover them with tears built up from months of missing them, and entire families hugging each other, and surrounding their military family member with love that is hard to describe. I knew this experience would bring me to tears...but it overwhelmed me even more than I though it would.

I couldn't help but think of the day that Matt will come home...the day I will feel his arms around me again...and kiss him with every ounce of emotion I have been feeling over the past 7 months. Thinking about that wonderful day, and seeing the love being expressed all around me brought me to tears. It is a very rare thing to see true passion and love between two people, and within a family...and I felt lucky to have experienced it all around me.

There a lot of people who criticize the military and I have heard "I could never do that" more times than I can count....but most people don't understand that when you love someone this much, you will wait forever for them, and it's not hard at all. After seeing these amazing men and women come home to their families, I am convinced once again that there are people in this world that know what true love really is. True love is about support, it's about sacrifice and patience, it's about waiting for the one you love, and embracing them with all you have when they come back to you again. Military families don't have the time to take each other for granted...and are forced into making the most of each and every moment they have together. Most couples don't realize how much they mean to each other until after they are already divorced, or one of them has passed away...but military couples know what life would be like without the other person...and how lucky they are to have time together.

The military life is not always easy...but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love Matt with all of my heart, and would wait a lifetime for him if I had to. I feel lucky to be apart of the military community, and will do whatever I can to give back what all of them have given to me...The chance to love who I want to love...to build the life and family I have always wanted...and the freedom to be who I am inside. We all owe our lives to the men and women who serve our country...it just seems like many people have forgotten about them and the sacrifices they make every day.

This post is dedicated to the men and women who serve our country and make sacrifices in order to fight for what they believe in....and to my very own hero, who I will love everyday of my life!

If anyone wants to check out pictures from the USO you can go to this link:

www.rickandannsspace.com

The USO has given me so much over the past few months, and I am honored to volunteer my time to serve with them.

Dancing in the rain

2008-12-11T12:32:00.000-08:00

It's hot, humid, sticky, and rainy in Virginia Beach today...and I absolutely love it! It's the kind of rain that seems to fall in big globs down from heaven...the kind of rain that makes you want to put on a t-shirt and dance in it for hours. I love when it rains and it's warm out! When I was little my grandma would wrap me up after a bath and take me out in the rain in my towel. This is the kind of rain that makes me wish more than anything that Matt were here with me...I would drag him out in it and we would dance and play for hours. We haven't dance din the rain yet...It's pretty hard to find rain in San Diego (which I am not complaining about) but it's something I am really looking forward to doing when he gets home. I am hoping it will rain in Hawaii where the air is always warm and sweet...and we can dance together on the beach near the ocean...soaked from head to toe.

I really loved being back in Texas with Cara and her family and friends. I always feel very at home there, and everyone is so nice! Men are actually gentlemen, and you can always find good country music on the radio...her friends always greet me like I am a part of the group, and her family is always so kind and loving. I am convinced that I was a Texan in another life...every time I have been there when I was little, and with Cara, I have always loved it, and never wanted to leave. Being there makes me appreciate close families and friends.

I couldn't be happier with who God sent me to build a family with...I will love Matt for the rest of my life, and be thankful for him each and every day. I can't wait to start our own family together...just the two of us for a few years...then add in a fun-loving yellow lab we are going to name Clifford...then a few lil ones a few years after that. Mostly though...we will always pay attention to the little things...and make sure everyone in our family knows how truly loved they are!

I am so thankful to Cara and her family for showing me that close families do exist, and flourish with the ongoing presence of self-less love. I also want to thank the people in Houston and all over Texas who value family, friendship,God, pride, respect, manners, real tex-mex and some good old country music! Although Matt is where my home is...being in Texas definitely gets me closer to feeling like I am home when Matt is away.

Our Santa Barbara Adventures...

2008-11-14T09:16:00.000-08:00

Waking up this morning to a news report about the fires that are heading toward Santa Barbara sparked this blog because Santa Barbara is one of mine and Matt's favorite places in California! We made two trips up there while we were dating before he left, and both were absolutely amazing!

The first trip was the more adventurous one, and it all started out with us driving up to Oceanside at the crack of down to catch the train up to Santa Barbara. The train was absolutely amazing because most of the time it runs along the ocean, and has wonderful views! Here are a few from the ride up:

The train actually takes quite a while, but it was worth it just for the experience and beautiful coast views. We got off the train in Santa Barbara and had no idea where to go! We really didn't do much research before we left...and didn't realize that it was a holiday weekend!!! We finally walked down to the main strip by the water and found a few hotels. After our 4th "we are all booked" response, we started to get a little scared! All of the hotels were booked for the entire weekend...so there we were with our heavy backpacks wondering if we would have to sleep on the beach. So, we did what any responsible adult couple would do...We went to the nearest bar!!! We got some food and lots of drinks and hung out at the bar on the pier for a few hours. I somewhat remember calling my mom and Cara for any ideas as to where we could stay...but the whole holiday weekend situation was not in our favor!

After the bar we decided to walk around more and see Santa Barbara. There were a few hotels that told us to call back after 5pm, so we had the entire day to backpack around the little town and explore. The first thing that caught my eye (which was already all blurry from the giant frozen alcoholic drinks) was a sign for wine tasting...so we stumbled over and checked it out. The little winery was great! For $10 we got 16 tastings which included every wine they produced. It really did not compare to Ponte...our favorite winery in San Diego...Where you get in free as military and can drink the entire day away!!! But, given our "homeless" situation at the time, it made us both very happy! The wine was really good, some of the best I have ever had! Many of them were very sweet, but they were sweetened with fruit and honey so that they were not just full of sugar. They also had crazy shaped wine bottles, which I would have saved forever! However...since it was just us and our backpacks, we had no room to take any bottles home with us :( However, the name of the winery is the Giessinger Winery, and I found a picture of some of their bottles on the internet:
After our wine buzz wore off, we headed back down to the beach to sit and wait for one of the hotels to call us. We found a coll little skate park and watched the kids skateboard for an hour or so, and then walked on the beach and took a few pictures:

As the sun began to set, we started getting a little worried. We had no place to stay, and it was getting dark! So, I got out our little map and just started going down the list calling hotels. God must have been watching out for us because the second hotel I called was the Best Western right on the water, and they had a big military discount! We almost ran down to the hotel and finally booked our room. It was so nice to be able to set down our backpacks, and head out on the town to do what we do best...eat and drink!!!
We found a really cute little pub and ate and had a few more drinks, and then headed back to our room. By this time we were so tired, and had to get back on the train so Matt could get back and stand duty at 12pm the next day. The hotel was really nice, and we had a great night!

At 5am, we grabbed our backpacks and headed back down toward the train. The sun was just coming up as we headed back toward home, and some of the views were just spectacular!

Our adventure didn't end with getting on the train...of course! There was a train accident on the track, and we were delayed a few hours. Of course Matt was not happy because he had to be there to stand duty...but we made it back to Oceanside just in time and he grabbed his camis and headed off to base. I ended up meeting Erin and John and the gang for lunch in PB.....and yes, more drinking!!! Then I got back home and passed out for the rest of the night. We definitely had a fun and adventurous trip, and looked forward to going back!!!

Our second trip to Santa Barbara was right before Matt left, and we decided to rent a Harley and drive up this time. So, we set out with me on the back hanging on for dear life (but I trusted Matt to drive me safely around) and we were off again!!!

A few hours later, and with my butt and back throbbing in pain, we arrived back in our favorite place! We did our research this time, and booked a hotel ahead of time. It was nice to pull right up and check in, and rest for a few hours . We then headed up into the mountains with the bike and started the really fun part of our trip. We ended up on these one lane roads way up in the mountains, and it was absolutely beautiful! Haha...every time we stopped to look at the view I convinced myself that Matt was going to propose...so although I was a little disappointed when he didn't, I did enjoy each and every moment with him! Matt was really excited because some of his favorite times were spent on a bike in the blue ridge mountains with his friends. He always talked about how beautiful that was, and how amazing it is to ride a bike through the mountains...although I am sure he thought the blue ridge mountains were more beautiful...I got an idea of what he meant from our time up in the Santa Barbara mountains. It was truly something that I will cherish and remember for the rest of my life! Here are a few pics from the top of the mountain:

I am literally thinking "why haven't you proposed yet??? When is it going to happen??" at this very moment ;) I am sure it didn't help that that morning I was a little but frustrated with the whole proposal situation, and when he asked me if I liked the girl's ring who was working at the counter I said "NO!" in a not so nice voice...and then really hurt his feelings because he thought my ring that he had already bought looked exactly like it...Oops!!! I really didn't even see her ring, I was just frustrated because I didn't have a ring yet...haha! And just so everyone knows, I wasn't upset because I just wanted to get engaged...I was getting frustrated because I loved Matt with all of my heart, and knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Our engagement the next weekend was actually perfect, and a HUGE surprise!!! So he did a great job :)

The trip back from Santa Barbara was just beautiful and we stopped once to just hang out and take pictures on the side of the road, and it was beautiful! We then headed home and half froze on the bike! But it was wonderful to just be on the back with my arms around Matt for hours at a time, and know that I would be hanging on to him forever! It really showed me that I truly trusted Matt because before that point, I would never get on a bike with anyone! Even though there were a few stressful moments , we worked together , supported each other, and had fun along the way! I will leave you all with some of the pics that we took on the way back,...I thought it was just beautiful, and a perfect ending to another amazing Santa Barbara Adventure!!!

The USO Center at Norfolk Naval Base

2008-11-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

I spent my first full week volunteering at the USO center on the Norfolk Navy base. I have been looking forward to spending time at the USO ever since Matt deployed and was able to benefit from the USO that is set up on the Air Force base they deploy from. I have a very big heart for helping families, and now that I know some of what it is like to deal with the strains of a military lifestyle, I especially have a heart for military families.

The USO is an organization that provides support to every branch of the military, and has centers on military bases and military air terminals throughout the world. They provide support by offering a home-like environment in their centers complete with comfy furniture, tv's and lots of food, and also provide any other support the military members and their families may need. They also sponsor entertainment and music concerts for military members overseas.

I am in charge of the United Through Reading program at our center, and it is the most amazing program to help parents connect with their children even when they are deployed. The program provides military members who are deployed or are deploying with the opportunity to record a dvd of themselves reading a book to their children, or saying whatever they want to say. We actually have a room set up that is private and away from everyone else where they can pick a book and say anything they want to their children and family back at home. Families get the dvd and the book in the mail, and can watch it as many times as they want.

This is an amazing program, and it touches my heart every time someone comes in and is so excited to have the opportunity to stay connected with their kids and families. I set everything up for them, and then leave the room as quickly as possible. I actually leave the area as quick as I can because if I hear people start to talk to their kids I immediately just start crying! It just means the world to me that people are so concerned with staying connected to their kids and families, and it breaks my heart at the same time to think about what it is like for families with children to deal with deployments. I know that for many spouses and other family members, these videos mean more to them than they do to the children. There is something very comforting in being able to see your loved one there on the screen and hear there voice...especially when they are away for so long.

I feel so lucky to be able to share my time with everyone at our USO center, and feel especially blessed to have gotten to know Ann Morris, the director of the center. She has an amazing heart and has dedicated her life to serving the military in every way she can. She is an inspiration to me, and I know that I will learn a lot from her and her amazing life as a military mom.

Volunteering my time at the USO really makes me feel close to Matt, and I figure it is the best way I can help him from thousands of miles away, and give back to all of our military families who are all making sacrifices that the rest of the world can't even comprehend in order to protect our country, and our freedom!

Thursday at the USO was filled with lots of smiles and tears. The regional director for United Through Reading came in to see the progress with our reading room, and I was able to sit down with her and Ann and hear a little bit about their personal stories. We all ended up in tears as both women described their experiences with the USO while they were relocating, and dealing with deployments. Through the tears they described the USO as a word that meant safety and home to their children, and a place that offered them hope when they were struggling. It touched my heart to know that the USO truly makes a difference in people's lives, and that I can somehow contribute to their mission to provide above and beyond what anyone in the military could possibly need...until they all come home.

I know that God has provided me with the opportunity to share my time with the USO and everyone who comes into our center, and that even before I was born He made me with a heart that will always have enough love to spread to those in need, and cry out for those who are in need. I will cherish my time at the USO with Ann and all of our wonderful military men and women, and just ask that God let me continue to serve in this way when I have to go back to San Diego in a few months.

I wanted to leave everyone with the USO website and the link to donate...no matter what your views are about the military, they still need your help, and are sacrificing their lives to protect you and your family.

USO

Donate to the USO

The Durnin House

2008-10-28T21:41:00.000-07:00

Well I am finally here in Virginia staying at the Durnin house with Cara and Shiner! I am so excited to be here, and am looking forward to spending the next couple months hanging out with Cara. Our first weekend was already lots of fun! I was so happy that our friend Ashley was in town, and we were all able to hang out and go to the worst karaoke bar ever...which was extremely entertaining! The rest of our weekend was filled with the new guitar hero for wii, which we beat in less than a day! For those of you who don't know guitar hero has been a tradition among our friends for the past year, and was our favorite thing to do when we were all in San Diego last year :)

I am having lots of fun with Cara and Shiner, and am so glad to be here! I was watching tv today and a show came on about a woman having her second baby. I have seen this show before, and usually its a really happy story about a couple having a baby...but today the story was filled with sadness. The woman began talking about how when she was months pregnant, two soldiers showed up at her door and informed her that her husband would not be coming home from his deployment. I watched for a few more minutes until the tears started rolling down my face and decided to change the channel. Things like that just hit a little too close to home, and are hard to even comprehend.

The show got me thinking, though, about life and about God. I know that God loves all of His children, and that He only wants the best for them...a life filled with happiness, faithfulness, and love. People often question God when bad things happen...like when they lose a loved one, or a natural disaster happens, or when life seems to be overwhelming and suffering is all around. I often think about everything that God has blessed me with...especially Matt and our friends and family, and our amazing life together, and this happiness and love that is in my heart, and I wonder why I am so blessed with an amazing man in my life...while others more deserving than me are having to say goodbye to the love of their life forever. I cannot begin to understand the pain of the woman in the show...or the pain of anyone who loses their loved one to a war. But I know that if given the choice...I would rather have to feel that pain and have experienced having Matt, the love of my life, in my life...than never having to feel that pain, and never have had the experience of having him close to me, and filling my heart and my life with a love I have never known before, and could never know with anyone except him.

Of course I have faith that God will continue to bless Matt and I with along and love-filled life together, and bless us with an amazing family of our own...and I try not to worry about the "what if's) in our future...because no matter what our future brings, I am already the happiest, and most blessed girl ever...and my life will be filled with joy and love forever because I have known Matt and have had him as a part of my life. I love him so much, and will be thankful to God for bringing him into my life forever!

God gives us amazing moments and people and relationships because He loves us...and along with the love and happiness of life also comes life's sufferings. God does not want us to suffer because He is angry, or because He doesn't care anymore...suffering is just a part of life. God blesses us with the happy times, and amazing, loving people that change our lives for the better...and forever...because He love us and knows that we all need light to counter the dark parts of life. All we have to do is take advantage of every "light" in our lives...let the light soak into our hearts and souls...let it fill us with a love that could never die...and the dark parts of life will never overwhelm us.

Its been a while

2008-10-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

Well, its been a while since my last post, and I am feeling very "writer-esk" tonight so I figured I would finally post something. Actually, my writing mood was sparked by my jog down to my favorite park at sunset tonight....

I decided to run down to my favorite park again tonight to watch the sunset, and was dreading the run because last time I barely made it down the first street before I had to stop and take a break! It is very important to me that I get better at running because I really want to be able to run with Matt when he gets home, so running is a very big deal! So, I started out running toward the park, practicing my newly learned breathing technique (breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth) and actually felt really good! To my surprise, I made it all the way to the park without stopping once!!! It may not be that far, but it was a really big deal for me! I was so happy, and so proud of myself!!!

Once I made it to the par I sat down on one of the big rocks to watch the sunset, and ended up (as I have been doing lately) watching the people and dogs at the park more than I actually watched the sunset. I love going to this park because Matt and I got engaged there...and because lots of people come together to watch the sunset, and let their dogs run around and play. I love people, and dogs, so I am literally in heaven whenever I am there :) I watched lots of people tonight, mainly a father and his little boy. The little boy just wanted to pet all of the dogs, so all of the owners made their dogs lay down so that the little 3 year old could pet them. It was just so amazing to me the depth of connection everyone had with that little boy, and how people went out of their way to let him pet their doggies. San Diego can be a very unfriendly place, so it is a rare occasion to see strangers going out of their way to be friendly to one another here. I was just so touched by the human connections going on in the park tonight, and my heart was filled with joy! The sunset was beautiful too, and the ocean was almost flat and sparkling as the sun sank down. I actually looked behind me and saw the best view of the sunset...in the reflection of a window on a house across from the park. It was absolutely breathtaking!!!

There were so many little boys and girls and beautiful dogs running around and playing together, and it made me so me so happy!!! It fills me with joy for the present, and hope for the future, and for Matt and I's future family. A little girl was running back and forth across the park with a dog, and her laughter was so precious, it brought tears to my eyes! I can't wait until Matt and I get to bring a little life into this world, and get to hear the child's laughter for the first time...I know that it will truly be amazing!

I just felt so thankful tonight for everything in my life. For having Matt in my life, and being able to hear God guiding us each and every day...for all of our amazing friends, who make we feel at home even when my "home" (matt) is out in Iraq...for being able to be here, where the sun is always shining, and the ocean is always sparkling...for the little things like flowers, people and dogs at the park, the laughter of a child, a little black chihuahua (my new best doggie friend jack), and for the chance to just wake up and live each and every day. I am beyond blessed...and know that the purpose for my life is to spread those blessings to others.

Tonight I just want to thank God for all he has given me...and for the ability to look back on my past, and see so many fond memories, to look at the present as a blessing that fills me with happiness, and to look to my future with only hope and excitement for what is to come!

Surfing cures everything!!!

2008-09-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing weekend filled with lots of surfing, and spending time with friends! I went surfing on Saturday after my class with James, and his friend Matt, and then Stephanie came with us and went for a run on the beach while we all surfed. I had a blast!!! It was so nice getting back in the water after being gone for a month!

After surfing we had a bbq at James', which has come to be one of my favorite things to do!!! It's nice to just hang out, eat, and talk with everyone. It is really like my "family" time since none of my actual family is here, and Matt is gone too. I also spent a lot of time playing with Jack, Stephanie's little chihuahua, and think I made a new best friend! He is too cute, and not your typical crazy chihuahua. He is really friendly, and so playful, and I had a great time chasing him around the house :)

After sleeping in on Sunday, James called and said that they were buying Stephanie a wetsuit, and that they were all going to go surfing in the afternoon. I am always excited when more girls want to learn to surf, since I am usually the only girl out there, so I threw on my wetsuit and headed down there! Les and I got there a little late and it took me forever to find everyone! I almost gave up...and then I saw them out of the corner of my eye and paddled, for what seemed like an eternity, over to our group! I had so much fun surfing with everyone! Sarah came too, and her and Stephanie did great!!! I did great too and caught a lot of waves! I dropped into one wave and it was the most amazing feeling...I was beyond excited! We all sat there on our boards and watched the sunset together...talking and cheering each other on. It was absolutely amazing, and a moment I will never forget!!!

This week has been a bit hectic with school, the wedding, and just everyday things I have been doing. I had a freak out moment where I thought we were going to have to change the wedding location again because airfare is so expensive...and spent two days stressing over what to do! We ended up deciding to keep it where it is, thank God! We will just have to figure out plane tickets for people, and help them out if they are ridiculously expensive...which is no problem!

I have actually been looking at wedding pictures and videos of weddings at the same resort, and they are amazing! The place is just beautiful, and I can't wait for everyone to be there and share in this special moment.

I am sending in the deposit for the wedding tomorrow, and ordered our save the date magnets today! They should be here by October 12th, so I will be getting them out right away after that so people can book air and rooms, and get the best possible price.

Anyway, after the way the beginning of the week went, I was very glad when Stephanie and I decided to go out surfing today! We met in Cardiff, one of my favorite spots, and paddled out for about two hours. The weather was beautiful, the waves were perfect, and we saw a seal and dolphins swimming right next to us!!! We are both animal lovers, so this was the best thing ever :) We both caught lots of waves, and had so much fun! We watched the beautiful sunset, and then went back to her place and grabbed some food. We had a great time talking, and she is officially my new surf buddy / girl friend :) I really needed a stress release, and I couldn't have asked for a better night!

I was happy to find a message from Matt waiting for me when I got home! (as they are the highlight of my day) And am just finishing up some homework before I go to bed.

This week has actually been good, in that I am learning to combat stress with activities that make me healthier...like surfing, rollerblading, and running! (Yes, me..running...longer distances...it's a miracle!) I feel really healthy and in shape and happy too!

Oh yeah, I also sold my surfboard (since I am using Matt's) and am buying an acoustic guitar, and I am so excited to learn how to play! I am really proud of myself for doing so many of the things I have always wanted to do, and I can't wait for Matt to come home and do those things with me! It's gonna be even more wonderful than it already is now :)

A new day

2008-09-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

After an interesting weekend that left me feeling a little angry, sad, and sick of being around drunk people, I decided that I would wake up on Monday morning with some new goals, and take the first steps toward a new and more fulfilling life! I did get up early, but ran some errands before embarking on my new exercise regime. While I was at the grocery store buying healthy food, my mom called and told me that she was up all night worrying about the wedding. Since my mom is usually not a worrier I was concerned. She went up to visit my aunt and uncle and was very disappointed in the condition of the farm where we were going to hold the wedding and reception, and that we needed to come up with a better plan. We did have a back up location, but that seems to have fallen through as well because it just isn't big enough, and does not reflect what I want for the wedding.

So....about an hour of brainstorming my mom and I came up with the idea to have the wedding in Mexico! I talked it over with Matt, my bridesmaids, and Matt's family and we have now officially moved the wedding south! We are thinking Cabo San Lucas right now, and are looking for a resort that will accommodate us and our friends and family. We still want to have a reception and everything...so I am very excited! I think Cabo is a better reflection of Matt and I anyway because we both love tropical weather, adventure, the ocean, ocean sports, swimming and the sunshine! Plus, we have always said that we want it to be a big party for everyone, and something that no one will forget...so I think Cabo is the perfect place!

I did eventually take my first steps on my journey to the new me yesterday afternoon. I rollerbladed around the bay for over an hour and got a great workout! I realized last Saturday when I was on my way to class that I want to be the kind of person who gets up early and starts their day with some sort of outdoor activity. As I drove by the bay I saw lots of people walking dogs, rollerblading, running, and biking on the great paths that are all around there, and instantly promised myself that I would do the same! Well, I felt great after my rollerblading session....so great that I am thinking about going again today! Maybe this will turn into an everyday thing rather than a three times a week thing.

I just love the weather here, and being outside in the sun and by the water. I had a great time just rollerblading along and taking in all of the beautiful parts of southern California! And to add the whole we are getting married in Cabo thing to it....well, it's just amazing!!!

I wanted to thank all of my friends who got to hear all about my weekend and how I felt about it! I don't know what I would do without my best friend, Matt, and my other best friends Cara and Toni. Thank you all for listening and being there for me when I needed you!!! I am so thankful to have all of you in my life, and cannot wait to continue this journey with you all!

Well, I am off to do some more rollerblading...Yay for the new me!!!

2008-09-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing time with my mom tonight fighting for something I believe in! We went and volunteered to help out at the McCain / Palin event tonight here in Michigan, and it was amazing! I have never really felt that politics were a personal issue or thing in my life. I was never really effected a whole lot by who was in office...and could really care less who got in. For many years I voted along with most of my family...not really knowing what the party stood for or anything. Over the past year my life has changed drastically. I moved away and found a new part of myself that I love! I also found a man that I love...and a new life with him, our friends, and the military. Now, politics are a personal issue for me...because the commander and chief of our country is who is leading my future husband, and the military as a whole. Other than the military, I have also found a deep passion for God, family, morals, and a more conservative view and belief for life in general. I have found myself right in the heart of the republican movement...and am beyond happy and proud to support McCain and Palin in this election. Here are some pics from the event:

Tonight was an amazing experience...I met so many wonderful people who love the same things I do..like God, family, and our country...There were many emotional moments for me too, as I listened to various marines, navy guys, and veterans share their stories. The most powerful speech of the night was given by a single mom who raised her children by herself, and then supported them as the daughter became a missionary, and the son became a marine in order to serve his country. She emphasized how she worked hard...and how her hard work and love of God was passed down to her children. It was amazing to hear everyone's stories...ad to be surrounded by a ton of people who share the same views as I do.

It was great to share this experience with my mom also...as she is a new republican now too! I knew the moment I heard about the event that I had to go. I was more than proud to go and support people who support Matt...and all of our military!!! I talked to a lot of people, and told them all about Matt and how proud I am of him. I thought of all the people I know who are in the military, and how amazing they all are to love their country enough to make the sacrifices they all make. I think John McCain is a wonderful man...the way he not only survived being a pow but did it while leading the men around him is truly inspiring!!! And his love for our country is one that adds to my own passion for loving and supporting our amazing country.

I know that God led me to the convention...and led me back here to Michigan for a reason...and I am so glad I listened to Him and followed Him. I have found a new passion for supporting our military, and the political party and values that I believe in. In doing this, I have found a new connection with people all over the country, and a deep love for all of them. I am excited to take the energy from tonight and put it into making a difference in this world, however I can. Doing things I feel passionately about truly brings out the best in me...it brings out my strength and leadership and compassion and empathy and understanding more than anything else I can ever do! It makes me see who and what I am inside, and the amazing gifts God has blessed me with in order to make a difference in our world.

I want to thank Matt for inspiring me to go to this event in the first place...I thought about how he is over in Iraq working and sacrificing for our country, and realized that I needed to use my time and my life for a good cause too! This is nothing new...Matt has always inspired me, and brought out the very best in me...and I am forever grateful that I have him, and our wonderful friends in my life!!!

Flowers made me smile

2008-09-04T20:15:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to a delivery truck at my door and a box willed with these:

...And a very sweet note from my wonderful fiance :) They were beautiful, and a great surprise! Haha...I wasn't the only one who liked them though...I put them in my room and someone else found them to be very amusing:

My sweet kitty poof found them and played with the little whispy green things forever! It was too cute! I had to remind her later, when she finally almost knocked them off the table, that they were for me...not her! ;) I absolutely loved the flowers...and love Matt even more! I am such a lucky girl to have him in my life, and it means the world to me that he is thinking about me and loving me all the way from Iraq!

I have had fun since I have been home...here are some of the pics from my various outings with friends:

I have enjoyed visiting Michigan...but after being gone for almost a month I really miss San Diego! I miss my friends, the ocean, our apartment and bedroom, surfing, the sunshine, and just feeling like I am at "home". I love my friends here, but have also changed a lot since I moved away a year ago. Instead of feeling at home here, I feel like San Diego is my true home now, and I can't wait to get back! :)

Since I have been home we have been on a camping river trip, gone to an allman brothers concert, visited my college and professors, hung out with my kitty and doggies and my family, got a new phone, and hung around with friends. This whole "vacation" has been so busy, and I am exhausted!

Tomorrow my mom and I are going to be volunteering at the John McCain event tomorrow, and working hard for something we both believe in. I am excited to see what McCain and Palin have to say, and to just do whatever I can to help out at the event.

Saturday and Sunday we are going to be wedding dress shopping, finally, and I am beyond excited! It will be fun to share this experience with my family and friends, and to finally feel like a real bride...I know when I see myself in a beautiful dress I will be super emotional because it will all really seem real that I have found the love of my life and will be marrying him in 7 months!

For now, I am just doing what I can to be there for my friends who need me, and to raise awareness that people need to support our troops in Iraq. I think all too often people forget that the people we love are out there fighting for them, and for people who cannot enjoy the same freedoms we do...and that they do it because they love all of us, and want us all to continue living the lives we love. No matter what anyone's views are on the war, or the president, or anything else...our loved ones are out there sacrificing their comfortable lives here, volunteering to be away from their families because they believe in our country, and are willing to protect it no matter what that may involve....and their families are here missing them, and waiting for the wonderful day when they finally get to come back home! We need to pray always for our military and their families...and let them know we are thankful for what they do each and every day.

Though some parts of being back in Michigan have been difficult...like realizing that I just don't fit in here anymore because I have changed so much...I have continually asked God to show me the purpose in me being here, and God has shown me that I am here just to be there for the people who need me. I am happy to have had many opportunities to talk with people and offer them support and encouragement that could possibly change their lives for the better...and I am so thankful to God for showing me that there is good and a purpose in every situation. I can't wait for God to show both Matt and I what our purpose in this life is together, and to live it out with him each and every day for the rest of our lives!!!

It has been a while!!!

2008-08-24T22:16:00.001-07:00

Wow...it has been a while since I last posted, mainly because I was busy finishing up school back in San Diego, and then two weeks ago I headed up to the sticks to hang with my family at their cabin. The cabin is on an island about two hours north west of Seattle, and it pretty rustic! We didn't really have internet at all...so I was forced to communicate by phone. Unfortunately, the phone thing didn't last very long ether because it ended up in the bottom of the ocean...lost forever!!! So...although I did lose everyone's phone numbers...I stole my mom's phone and was able to talk to Matt, and Toni, and Cara....each of which I would seriously die if I couldn't talk to for more than a few days ;)

So, I am finally back in Michigan and am looking forward to a great couple of weeks here. I have plans to head up north for labor day and camp next to the river with Toni, Natalie, and some of our other friends here, so that should be really fun! Then the next week and weekend will be all about dress shopping for the girl's dresses in the wedding, and my dress :) I am really excited because it will be the first official thing I am actually doing that is related to the wedding! I figure I still have about 7 months till April...so I am taking my time!

After I get back to San Diego I will have school for two months, and then I am heading to Cara's for a while to stay with her and Shiner. I am really excited to be able to hang out with them for a while...and I think it will be really great for Cara and I since our men will both be deployed at that time. We already talked about having a k/cara's only turkey day...so we will see what happens :)

It was a little hard being around my entire family for two weeks with not much else to do at the cabin. I moved away over a year ago, and have grown a lot since then. I felt like my family really didn't understand the whole deployment situation, or how in love Matt and I are, or how committed we are to having a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Everyone in my family has been divorced, and I promised myself a long time ago that I would end that whole cycle. Part of why I moved to California was to find and improve myself, and strengthen my own individual values and beliefs. Lucky for me, I found a man who was looking for the same things in his life...and our relationship has helped me to grow even more into the best possible person I can be. I realized over the past two weeks how lucky I am to have such amazing friends...especially Cara and P who have such an amazing marriage, and who understand the military lifestyle. I am beyond excited to get to spend a good length of time with Cara...and I know we will be such an amazing support for one another because we will be in the same situation. I am also so lucky to have everyone in San Diego too...like Leslie, Jamie, James, Tom, Tania, Des..and everyone else there. I realized that I truly feel at home in San Diego when I am with all of them...even more than I do when I come back here to Michigan. Of course, I can't leave out Natalie and Toni...who are my Michigan girls and I don't know what I would do without them!!! I love all of my friends, and am so thankful that God has blessed me with all of them!

Matt is doing good out in Iraq. He is friends with everyone, and showing the new people who are now showing up on ia from San Diego all around the base. He has been working a lot, but gets a day off here and there. We get to talk a lot too...so that is really great! I am so proud of him and miss him like crazy! I feel like the luckiest girl ever to be able to be planning our wedding, and to have him in my life. I can't wait until he gets back home, and I get to say I do and become Mrs. Holmes!!! I also can't wait to share our special day with our friends and families. It will be the best day of my life for sure!!!

Well, I am still on California time so it is really late here, and I am sure I should be sleeping. My kitty poof is already passed out and sleeping on my feet...I am happy to see her! I had to leave her with my parents in Michigan when I moved because she loves to be outside, and that never would have worked in Ca. I love it when I come home and visit her though...and she still remembers me :) I guess if I can't sleep next to Matt then poof is the next best thing ;)

I want to send love to all of my friends...and let you all know I am thinking about you and missing you! And of course all of my love to my Johnny Holmes....the love of my life and my hero!

He is everywhere....

2008-07-08T00:13:00.000-07:00

I realized again tonight that God really is watching out for me, providing for me, and loving me all the time. He has always answers my inner prayers...even the ones that I didn't even consciously pray, but the ones that are buried deep within my soul. He has always come through for me, and sends me his angels at all the right times. When I was young, He sent me angels via my animals. My two dogs and goat were exactly what I needed when I felt lonely, or that no one was there for me. When I was a teenager He guided my best friend Toni to look out for me, and my parents to send me away to a school where I was surrounded by counselors and staff that truly helped me, and changed my life. When I moved to San Diego He provided me with a great roommate who was there for me, and helped me start my wonderful life here. When I was about to give up on love He blessed me with Matt, and more love than I ever thought possible. When I felt as though I didn't have any girlfriends here, and really needed one, He brought me Cara, who has continued to be an angel in my life. When Matt left and I needed someone around to remind me how happy I am with my life, He brought me Leslie and James, who have been a big support during this hard time. After a long weekend that left me feeling a bit run down and lonely, He blessed me with Tania, who got me out of the house and helped me to experience a great girls night!

God knows what I need better than I do, and He provides it for me before I even have time to ask Him. I am so thankful to have Him in my life, be able to recognize His blessings, and let Him guide me through every step of my life.

It is very hard with the love of my life being gone for so long...But I know that God gives and takes away. As soon as Matt left it was like God used the people we know to surround me, support me, and get me through! He took Matt away for a short while, but gave me back some really close friends, and a wonderful and supportive second family added on top of my own family. And He has been blessing Matt and I continually by giving us the words we can say to each other every day to make our love stronger and stronger.

I realize that life isn't perfect...But that God takes horrible situations and turns them in to opportunities for His love for us to shine through! I am always amazed at the depth of God's love, and by the depth of blessings that He has given me in my life. Even when I don't know what I truly want or need in my life, God knows...and He blesses me with the people I need to help me be the person He wants me to be, and knows that I am inside.

It is so amazing to see God, even in the little things. In a stranger's kind smile, in the nice words of an old man, in a beautiful sunset, in the advice and added push from a fellow surfer, in a text message or phone call, in the help of the people at the post office, in the friendly wave of a neighbor, in the packages from people that love you, in the wedding planning advice and help from everyone....God is all around me, and is always sending me His love through His children.

I just hope that someday I can be someone's angel...and provide the little things they need to get them through their life. That's why we always have to be looking out for God, and for the opportunities He gives us to love one another as He loves us. Without us...God's job is so much harder. He needs His angels here on the earth to show everyone how much He loves them...and that He is with them, looking out for them, and blessing them each and every day of their lives.

I am so thankful to all of my angels...I could never do this whole thing called life without them. And I am so thankful that God has blessed me with them...to show me His amazing love!

I believe....

2008-07-03T11:00:00.000-07:00

Cara inspired this one....What do you believe?

I believe that God is real, and that He is always with us.

I believe that God answers prayers.

I believe in soul mates, and love that was meant to be.

I believe that marriages can and do last forever.

I believe in loving completely, and with all of your being.

I believe in a love that never dies or fades away.

I believe that my fiance is the most kind and loving man I have ever known.

I believe in faith and hope.

I believe that love is contagious.

I believe that the foundation of a family starts with the marriage.

I believe in being carefree, fun, and weird!

I believe in being yourself, and not caring what other people think.

I believe in best friends.

I believe in embracing the child within you.

I believe that God guides us through life...If we look and listen for Him.

I believe that true love really does exist.

I believe that expressing love requires true unselfishness.

I believe that God uses His children to get His will done on earth.

I believe in signs from God.

I believe in giving back what God has given us.

I believe that meanness truly attracts more meanness.

I believe that America's families are falling apart, but that there is hope for improvement.

I believe that it only takes one person to end the cycle of family problems.

I believe that the people fighting for our country are fighting for a good cause, and deserve to be appreciated for what they do.

I believe that love can span the distance between two heart separated by thousands of miles.

I believe in the exception to the rule.

I believe in love at first sight...for both lovers, and friends.

I believe in the power of people coming together to be there for one another.

I believe that God has a plan for our lives before we are even a thought in our parent's minds.

I believe that the true message of Jesus Christ is to love one another.

I believe that stuffed animals do serve a purpose in an adult life.

I believe that we need to tell our children how special they are each and every day.

I believe in tough love, and discipline.

I believe that a happy, healthy, strong marriage is the best foundation to raise a child.

I believe that some animals are really angels in disguise, sent down from God to keep children company, families together, and people happy.

I believe that a world without love is not what God intended when He made the beautiful universe.

I believe in being loyal at all times, and forever.

I believe that love is more important than any physical thing in this world. And it is only love that will matter at the end of our lives. Not the car we drove, the house we lived in, the dresses we wore, the ring we were given, the color of our hair, or shape of our body....Only how much we loved one another...and how much we were loved.

Benches....

2008-06-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

I decided tonight that benches were made for couples...I rode Matt's bike to our park tonight to watch the sunset over the ocean, and sat on one of the benches. I sat there for a while watching the sun and the waves, and then a couple walked up. They looked over at me on the bench...like they wanted to sit there...and then went over to another bench and sat down. I looked around and realized that all the benches had couples sitting on them. I felt bad taking up a perfectly good bench by myself...so I moved over to the rocks, and right away I looked back and the bench was already taken by another couple...

I actually don't feel like I'm by myself because of how much love is invested in that park, and in that sunset...It's the place where Matt and I had our first picnic, where we walked to and talked about everything..life, love, family, hopes and dreams...It's the place where Matt first talked to me about loving life, and not taking one day for granted...and where I really began to believe that maybe I had found the love of my life...and it's where Matt proposed, and instantly made me the happiest girl in the whole world. When I am there I feel like I am with him, and I am happy...and I miss him!

I sat and listened to the couple who took my spot on the bench, and the woman talked for a while..the man then interrupted over and over again, he put her down. He pointed out her failures, talked down to her, and never really listened to her. It made me so mad...I just wanted to yell at him and ask him how he would feel if suddenly she were gone, and the last things he said to her were things that made her feel bad about herself. It makes me so mad when couples take each other for granted...because they just expect that the person will always be there...and don't realize how much their life would change if that person were suddenly gone.

I guess when you don't have the luxury of having the person you love never go away from more then a few days or a week at a time...you realize how precious your relationship really is...and how much you love and depend on that person.

The worst part is the longing for them when they are gone...the best part is making the most of every second they are near you.

Two days in...

2008-06-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

I found this song by Bonnie Raitt and thought that some of the verses rang true for me now.

The song is called "I don't want anything to change"

You left a mess you're everywhere
I'd pick it up but I don't dare
I don't want anything to changeI don't want anything to change
There's nothing I would rearrange
I don't want anything to change

I know the truth is right outside
But for the moment it's best denied
I don't want anything to change

Since I am now officially moving into Matt's room while he is gone I have to rearrange everything so I have places to put all of my stuff...But it's hard to move things around...It seems like everything here is really different already, and all I want is for something to seem the same. So I rearranged a bit, and left a lot of things how they were. Mostly the things that remind me of him...We are two days in and already on our way in this new adventure...All I know is that I love him more everyday, even if he isn't right here beside me....

It's all about the jibe!!!

2008-06-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Matt and I have had an amazing last few weeks here in San Diego! We rented a sailboat twice and went sailing in mission bay. It was absolutely amazing, and we had so much fun! It was funny because we have both sailed before, and walked into the store where the sailboats are with lots of confidence...the guy asked us if we had sailing experience and we went on and on about how we have sailed different boats, and how Matt took classes at the academy...we were feeling all confident and proud...until the guy handed us a "simple" sailing test and we both looked at each other with worried looks on our faces! Luckily, the guy basically gave us all the answers, and let us pass!!! We took the little boat out and had so much fun that we took Matt's grandpa back out the next week while he was visiting. (and consulted some of our friends with real experience before heading back, in case we got the test again)

As a future marriage and family counselor who will be dealing with couples all the time, I am going to suggest that all of them rent a sailboat together, take it out sailing, and then come back to me and tell me all about it! It is an amazing way to see how your relationship really works...both people have to work together, and both are a little nervous, so their true colors really come out. The funny thing with Matt and I is that we have completely different approaches to sailing, and at times, we did annoy each other a little! But...we recognized our differences and laughed about it the whole time! We also adjusted our own feelings, and actions in order to work with one another and sail our little boat. We had such a great time!!! It really showed us how well we work together, and how much fun we always have when we are with each other.

When we got back to the dock the first time we took the boat out there was a huge sea lion sitting right where we had to go! It was so funny! One of the guys who works there came to the end of the dock and yelled at the sea lion to leave...which just made the sea lion mad, so he started barking at the guy and chasing him away. All of the dogs on the boats near by also started barking, because they all hate sea lions, and it was a huge barking mess! The guy who worked there went and got a big stick and showed it to the sea lion, who then got back in the water, came up for air right by us and kind of spit at us, and then went to another dock and barked even louder at the worker guy, us, and the dogs....It was the funniest thing I have ever seen!!!

We had fun with grandpa too, and he even sailed us around for a while all on his own! It is so amazing to be out on the water with someone that you love! I am so lucky to have found Matt...He is the love of my life! We love to do so many of the same things, and are always up for an adventure! I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with someone as amazing as him! He loves me for who I am...and even when I am angry or upset or acting like a 2 year old...He is always there for me, welcoming me with a big hug and smile, and loving me more then anyone ever has or ever will!!!

We are ENGAGED!!!!! :)

2008-06-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

A week ago today Matt made me the happiest girl in the whole world.......

The day started off with me getting up early to go and get my cousin Natalie from the airport. She came in from Michigan via Texas after a conference, and would stay with me at Matt's place for the week. I was so excited to see her, and couldn't wait to get to the airport! I met her there, and after waiting in traffic for an hour we finally got back to Matt's apartment. Natalie had not met Matt yet, so I was really excited for her to meet him for the first time!

Natalie, Leslie, and I all went out to lunch, and Matt ended up staying home because "his stomach hurt." So us girls went out and ate and hung out for the afternoon. After we got back Matt and Les went to the store to get food for a bbq we were having later that night. Natalie and I just hung out, and of course I talked about Matt, how we met, how much in love with him I am, how amazing he is....I probably went on forever!

After Les and Matt got back, Les suggested that we take Natalie out walking by the ocean so that she could see the water, the sunset, and take pictures. I decided that would be a good idea and went in to tell Matt that we were gonna go for a walk.

So, the three of us set out walking in a neighborhood in La Jolla where Matt and I used to walk at night. We really got to know each other on these walks...We would always walk near the ocean, hold each other's hand, and talk about everything! Along the way there is a park where we used to stop and look at the waves far down the cliff below, and where we had our first picnic. I guess you could say we fell in love on those streets, in that neighborhood, in the park....

We got to the park about 30 minutes before sunset. On the way there I talked about how Matt and I used to always walk back there, and how we had our picnic at the park. I talked about how happy I was that tonight there were clouds in the sky...and how pretty the sunset would be. I had no idea at all that tonight would be the night that would change my life forever!!!

When we got to the park Matt and I walked over to some rocks and sat down. Natalie sat on the other side of us, and we all watched the sun get lower, the clouds turn pink and orange, and the birds fly overhead. Matt suggested that Natalie take a picture of us before the sun went down, so we stood in front of the sunset and she took the picture. I went to walk away and take a picture of Natalie next, but Matt grabbed my arms and wouldn't let me go. Haha...I said "what are you doing?" and He said that he had to ask me something and kissed me, and I kept wondering why he was acting so weird....When he started to drop to his knee it finally hit me...."Oh my gosh...He's proposing!" At first though, I thought he was kidding since he kids around all the time, and I started to back up. He held on to my hand tight and then I realized it was actually happening!!!! At first I also started saying "no" and I think it scared him...but I meant no as in oh my gosh I can't believe this is happening!!! and don't joke around about it....But in my heart all I was saying was YES, YES, YES when I realized he was really proposing!

He got down on his knee and said "baby, will you marry me?" and I screamed "oh my gosh" about a million times...and of course, said YES!!! I was in absolute shock!!!! He stood up and I jumped on him and almost knocked him off the cliff. He finally had to ask if I wanted to see the ring, and then opened the box and put it on my finger. I was still in shock!!!! I was so happy...It was literally the best day of my life, and the best moment of my life so far.

When I turned around, I saw a letter sitting on a rock with my name on it. I opened it and read Matt's loving words...I was filled with emotion, and cannot describe the way I felt right then. I could barely read the letter because I was shaking with happiness!!! We took a few more pictures, and headed back to the house. I don't think I stopped smiling until I fell asleep that night.

By the time we walked back from the park everyone was at the apartment waiting for us. Matt's friends Brian, James, and Jack came down just to celebrate, and Les cooked a ton of bbq. We all hung out all night and it was so nice to have all of their support! Of course I called my mom, who was waiting up to hear from me, and texted everyone I know!

I found out later that Matt actually called my mom to ask her permission to propose to me. They haven't had a chance to meet yet, so it was really special that he would call her! I guess he tried to get a hold of her for a while and finally left a message on my parent's answering machine almost yelling with excitement that he loved me and wanted to propose to me, but he needed her permission first. She called him right back and said that she was so excited, and would have waited by the phone if she would have known. Of course she gave her blessing!

Natalie became an accomplice while we were all out to lunch when Les took her outside to wait for me and let her in on the whole plan. She was so excited she could barely keep it a secret.

Matt actually bought the ring while I was in Texas with Cara, and Les helped him pick out the ring!!! Which is absolutely beautiful, by the way!

Everyone knew about it, and was in on it except me! And that made it absolutely perfect!!!

I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams to have Matt in my life, and to have the kind of love that we share. I am also blessed to have so many amazing friends, and family who are so supportive of Matt and I, and of our engagement to each other.

I cannot wait to marry him....he is the absolute love of my life....my hero.

We have lots of pictures and a video of the proposal, but they are on Natalie's camera so I will post them as soon as she gets back and sends them to me.

We are so excited...I cannot even describe the feelings that we are both feeling, and the amount of love that is in both of our hearts!!!

We love all of our friends and family...and are so thankful and blessed to have everyone in our lives! We are especially thankful to God for bringing us together, and for being with us always.

To Texas and back...

2008-05-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

I am finally getting time now to write my blog about Texas! I had an amazing time with Cara and all of her friends and family. I met her in Houston to do the walk for CF and we ended up raising so much money :) It was really a great experience, and I really learned a lot of life-changing things.

I wanted to go to Texas to help Cara with the walk, and my mindset going into it was that I really wanted to help HER...but by the time I left Texas, I realized that I was helped in ways I didn't even know I needed it!

First, I learned not to take any part of my life for granted. Cara, Kasey, and other people with CF are amazing people who fight for their lives each and every day. They literally do not take one breath for granted, and it's because they may not be able to breathe easy every day of their lives. Their strength and courage in fighting for their own lives and the lives of others inspired me so much...it really put life into prospective, and made me realize that time spent with my friends and family is the most precious time in the world!

Secondly, I learned the importance of good, close friendships with other girls. Over the years I have gone in and out of really coveting my friendships with the girls in my life. I have both appreciated them, and taken them for granted. Every moment of our time in Texas felt like a girls night out, and all of the girls were so wonderful! I felt welcomed and supported, and had lots of fun going out and doing a million things with all of them. They each have their own strengths that I observed and learned from..and it was great to realize that there were so many other girls going through things that I had gone through, or that I am going through, or will be going through in the future.

It was really great getting to know Cara better. It is especially wonderful to hear her talk about her and Patrick, and their marriage. Everyone who knows Cara and P always says that that's what marriage should be like! They are so amazing, they lean on each other, they are there for each other, they have fun together, and act young! They also both have an amazing relationship with God, and put their trust in Him. Most of all....they don't take one another for granted. They are just as much in love if not more today than they were when they first got married, and they are an amazing inspiration in a world that no longer appreciates or fights for marriage and family.

I realized that life is about helping others and being there for one another. The day I got to Houston we found out that Matt was going to be deployed this summer...and it hit me really hard. I was so lucky to have Cara there to talk to because she really understands. She is in the same situation I am in, and it is so nice that we have each other to lean on and to help us through the hard times.

I realized how much I really value my family after seeing the support that Cara's family gives her. I know that my family is always there when I need them, and how important they all are to me and in my life.

Lastly, I was reminded of how short life is and I cannot afford to take one breath for granted. Anything could happen at any moment, and if it does I want to know in my heart that I did all I could to please God with what time He has blessed me with. I want to know that I loved with all of my heart, gave with all of my strength, and let the passion within my soul shine out for the world to see. I want to know that I am a person like Cara...a person who fights for her life, and for the lives of others....a person who changes people's lives by just being herself...

My trip to Texas was more than just a vacation...It was a life-changing experience...and I know that God put Cara in my life for amazing reasons!!! I am just thankful that I was blessed enough to get to know her, and that there will be many more life-changing experiences with her in the future.

About Matt...

2008-05-05T09:54:00.001-07:00

I couldn't possibly write an update about my life without mentioning Matt. We actually met a month after I moved to San Diego, but I didn't really hang out with him until much later. A friend of mine who I met in San Diego through some other Michigan people lived across the hall from Matt and his roommate, and he introduced me to Matt back in September. I remember walking into this apartment filled with cute guys, and immediately calling Toni and telling her that she better get her butt out here so we could go hang out with all of them. But...she was way back in Michigan and I didn't have the guts to go hang out with the cute boys by myself.

I ended up talking to Matt over Myspace a few months later, and even sent him a message saying that I only wanted to be friends with him after he kind of asked me out. I thought he was a nice guy, but I had given up on ever finding a real relationship with any guy in San Diego, so I just wanted to be friends. I found out later that our first meeting gave Matt the impression that I was mean...because I didn't really say anything or look very happy. But really I was just surprised to see so many cute guys in one room, and nervous to be meeting all of them too.

By November Matt and I were talking more, and we ended up going on our first date while my mother was in town visiting. It was so nice to have her there, even though she did the mom thing...trying to get me to wear her lipstick, making sure my shirt wasn't too revealing, and making fun of me for being so nervous. It was great! Although, at dinner Matt still thought I was mean because I was kind of shy and quiet...Really I was just afraid that my first real date in forever would turn out to be with a typical San Diego guy, which are typically selfish, arrogant, controlling, immature, party boys. But it didn't take me long to realize that Matt was different, and that I could just be myself with him.

The rest is history...things have been getting better and better as time goes by. I am so thankful that God brought me Matt. He is the most amazing guy I have ever known, and I cannot express my feelings for him in words. About a year ago last December I began praying that God would lead me to the person I was meant to marry. I prayed and prayed for that person every day, even though I didn't know him yet. But I knew God knew who he was, and that God would bring me to him. Matt always knows how to make me smile, and has brought such happiness to my life. He is more then I could have ever dreamed of...and I don't know what I would do without him.

I am blessed beyond my wildest expectations to be able to spend my time with Matt, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us and for our relationship.

A few weeks in paradise

2008-05-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my first post in my new blog. I came to San Diego about 10 months ago to start a new life, but I never expected it to be this great! I have found great friends, a wonderful boyfriend, an amazing school where I am doing my master's and where I am learning all about what I love, a loving new family to work for with great kids, and overall happiness in my life. I am a writer at heart and just couldn't go another day without writing about this amazing new life that I absolutely love!!!

Matt and I just got back from an amazing vacation! I met him in Orlando first, where I got to meet his parents and sister. They are all really friendly and great. I thought I would actually be nervous meeting them for the first time, but I wasn't. I think that really showed me a lot about myself, and about my relationship with Matt. First, I have really come to trust myself and love who I am. I didn't feel like I had to be another person in order to get his parents to like me, and I was really comfortable while I was at their house. Second, I trust Matt so when he told me that his parents were friendly and would love me, I knew that they would. It was really great to meet them and his sister not only because they are all so friendly, but because it was a big step in our relationship. I think that there will always be some sort of conflict between parents and their children...but it will make our lives so much easier in the future if we both get along with each other's parents! Now we just have to get my parents out here to met Matt!!! (Don't worry, they will love him!)

From Orlando we headed up to North Carolina to stay with Matt's friend from the academy, and his wife. We went to dinner and hung out with their neighbor, a former marine. It might have sounded boring to a lot of girls, but the boys all talked about their experiences in the academy and doing their marine training stuff. It was actually hilarious to hear their stories, and gave me more of an insight into what it is really like being a marine. I actually had a great time!

From there we drove up to Virginia to see the Durnins and Matt's friends Brian and Frank. It was really great to see Cara and Patrick! We all had dinner and then Cara and I walked on the beach and made pancakes in the morning. It was so wonderful to be able to visit with them again. I met Cara and Patrick through Matt in December. Patrick is in the Navy, and was doing training with Matt in Texas and at Miramar. I knew right from the beginning that Cara and I would be friends. Not only did we have the same name, but we also had a lot in common! I got to hang out with Cara for a few months before her and Patrick had to go and join the fleet in VA, and we had a ton of fun! She was the first real girl friend I made here in San Diego, and I know that we will always be friends, even if we live so far away.

We also got to hang to with Frank for a few hours before leaving VA. He is Matt's friend and has been in Japan for a long time. He just happened to be there while we were there, so Matt and him got to catch up over lunch! He is one of Matt's best friends, and will be moving to San Diego in August! That is really exciting because most of his friends are stationed on the east coast, and now Frank will be here and they will be able to hang out! We also saw Brian, another one of Matt's friends who is coming to CA too! He is a really great guy, and his girlfriend's name is Cara too!!!

From VA we drove back down to South Carolina and stayed a night in Charleston. We got to see the carrier, a submarine, and some other military memorial stuff, which was really cool!

Then we headed back down to Orlando and went swimming in the springs that Matt grew up swimming in as a little boy. It was a great day, and we had lots of fun just floating around. We also paddled down another spring and river and I got to see the places where Matt hung out when he was younger. We stopped for lunch along the river, and then paddled back down the river while it rained. It was absolutely amazing...I didn't realize how much I missed being out in nature being in San Diego. There are beautiful beaches and things like that, but there is something magical about being back in the river surrounded by nothing but woods. I love San Diego, but I am also looking forward to the day that Matt will be stationed on the East coast again so that we can both live in an area more like the ones we both grew up in.

On our way down to the keys we stopped at my great aunt's house in Englewood, FL. It was great to see her and to have Matt meet more people in my family. We went swimming in the ocean, which was great because its too cold and wavy to just swim in SD, and then went out to diner for Grandma Franie's birthday. Then, after a brief trip to the ER for me, (just ask if you really want to know) we finally headed down to the keys!!!

The drive down to the keys was great! It is absolutely beautiful and I have always wanted to do it. The water was a million colors of blue, and the palm trees were the brightest green I have ever seen. We spent the rest of the week at an amazing hotel and hung out in the little town. We got to rent a hobbie cat and sail it up and down the beach, and went snorkeling! We saw the cutest turtle, who actually came right up to us and hung out right by us for a while. Matt also saw a few sharks, and tried to point them out, but I just sort of convinced myself that they weren't there....haha! Unfortunately, Matt got sick and we just rested a lot toward the end of our time in the keys, but it was still amazing! A couple of trips to the Naval medical clinic later....It was time to go back to Orlando, and then back to SD.

Our huge road trip was absolutely amazing!!! We were able to talk for hours and hours, experience new things together, and do some of the things we both love. We also learned to trust each other and depend on each other since we were both sick and had to be taken care of. I really felt as if I was "home" on the East coast, and it was really hard to leave and come back to San Diego. But...vacations can't last forever, and we will most likely be living on the East coast before we know it.

Now, we have been back for a week and just trying to get used to life again. I start my new job on Monday with a great new family. The kids are easy to watch, and they have the cutest yellow lab, Hank. I start my second semester of grad school next week, and I will be very busy between work and school. Matt is still sick, and is just waiting to join a squadron as soon as one opens up. So, we really have no idea what he will be doing until then. Depending on which one he goes in to, he should be deploying around January or February, which gives us at least a little time to spend with one another before he has to be gone for a while. I am looking forward to moving closer to where he lives, and closer to the beach in June! I am hoping to just get a one bedroom and be able to live by myself for a few months, so I am very excited to be looking at potential apartments.

Other than that....there are a million other things I could write down about my life over the past 10 months, but I will save that for my next few posts!!!