The Durnin House

Well I am finally here in Virginia staying at the Durnin house with Cara and Shiner! I am so excited to be here, and am looking forward to spending the next couple months hanging out with Cara. Our first weekend was already lots of fun! I was so happy that our friend Ashley was in town, and we were all able to hang out and go to the worst karaoke bar ever...which was extremely entertaining! The rest of our weekend was filled with the new guitar hero for wii, which we beat in less than a day! For those of you who don't know guitar hero has been a tradition among our friends for the past year, and was our favorite thing to do when we were all in San Diego last year :)

I am having lots of fun with Cara and Shiner, and am so glad to be here! I was watching tv today and a show came on about a woman having her second baby. I have seen this show before, and usually its a really happy story about a couple having a baby...but today the story was filled with sadness. The woman began talking about how when she was months pregnant, two soldiers showed up at her door and informed her that her husband would not be coming home from his deployment. I watched for a few more minutes until the tears started rolling down my face and decided to change the channel. Things like that just hit a little too close to home, and are hard to even comprehend.

The show got me thinking, though, about life and about God. I know that God loves all of His children, and that He only wants the best for them...a life filled with happiness, faithfulness, and love. People often question God when bad things happen...like when they lose a loved one, or a natural disaster happens, or when life seems to be overwhelming and suffering is all around. I often think about everything that God has blessed me with...especially Matt and our friends and family, and our amazing life together, and this happiness and love that is in my heart, and I wonder why I am so blessed with an amazing man in my life...while others more deserving than me are having to say goodbye to the love of their life forever. I cannot begin to understand the pain of the woman in the show...or the pain of anyone who loses their loved one to a war. But I know that if given the choice...I would rather have to feel that pain and have experienced having Matt, the love of my life, in my life...than never having to feel that pain, and never have had the experience of having him close to me, and filling my heart and my life with a love I have never known before, and could never know with anyone except him.

Of course I have faith that God will continue to bless Matt and I with along and love-filled life together, and bless us with an amazing family of our own...and I try not to worry about the "what if's) in our future...because no matter what our future brings, I am already the happiest, and most blessed girl ever...and my life will be filled with joy and love forever because I have known Matt and have had him as a part of my life. I love him so much, and will be thankful to God for bringing him into my life forever!

God gives us amazing moments and people and relationships because He loves us...and along with the love and happiness of life also comes life's sufferings. God does not want us to suffer because He is angry, or because He doesn't care anymore...suffering is just a part of life. God blesses us with the happy times, and amazing, loving people that change our lives for the better...and forever...because He love us and knows that we all need light to counter the dark parts of life. All we have to do is take advantage of every "light" in our lives...let the light soak into our hearts and souls...let it fill us with a love that could never die...and the dark parts of life will never overwhelm us.

Its been a while

Well, its been a while since my last post, and I am feeling very "writer-esk" tonight so I figured I would finally post something. Actually, my writing mood was sparked by my jog down to my favorite park at sunset tonight....

I decided to run down to my favorite park again tonight to watch the sunset, and was dreading the run because last time I barely made it down the first street before I had to stop and take a break! It is very important to me that I get better at running because I really want to be able to run with Matt when he gets home, so running is a very big deal! So, I started out running toward the park, practicing my newly learned breathing technique (breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth) and actually felt really good! To my surprise, I made it all the way to the park without stopping once!!! It may not be that far, but it was a really big deal for me! I was so happy, and so proud of myself!!!

Once I made it to the par I sat down on one of the big rocks to watch the sunset, and ended up (as I have been doing lately) watching the people and dogs at the park more than I actually watched the sunset. I love going to this park because Matt and I got engaged there...and because lots of people come together to watch the sunset, and let their dogs run around and play. I love people, and dogs, so I am literally in heaven whenever I am there :) I watched lots of people tonight, mainly a father and his little boy. The little boy just wanted to pet all of the dogs, so all of the owners made their dogs lay down so that the little 3 year old could pet them. It was just so amazing to me the depth of connection everyone had with that little boy, and how people went out of their way to let him pet their doggies. San Diego can be a very unfriendly place, so it is a rare occasion to see strangers going out of their way to be friendly to one another here. I was just so touched by the human connections going on in the park tonight, and my heart was filled with joy! The sunset was beautiful too, and the ocean was almost flat and sparkling as the sun sank down. I actually looked behind me and saw the best view of the sunset...in the reflection of a window on a house across from the park. It was absolutely breathtaking!!!

There were so many little boys and girls and beautiful dogs running around and playing together, and it made me so me so happy!!! It fills me with joy for the present, and hope for the future, and for Matt and I's future family. A little girl was running back and forth across the park with a dog, and her laughter was so precious, it brought tears to my eyes! I can't wait until Matt and I get to bring a little life into this world, and get to hear the child's laughter for the first time...I know that it will truly be amazing!

I just felt so thankful tonight for everything in my life. For having Matt in my life, and being able to hear God guiding us each and every day...for all of our amazing friends, who make we feel at home even when my "home" (matt) is out in Iraq...for being able to be here, where the sun is always shining, and the ocean is always sparkling...for the little things like flowers, people and dogs at the park, the laughter of a child, a little black chihuahua (my new best doggie friend jack), and for the chance to just wake up and live each and every day. I am beyond blessed...and know that the purpose for my life is to spread those blessings to others.

Tonight I just want to thank God for all he has given me...and for the ability to look back on my past, and see so many fond memories, to look at the present as a blessing that fills me with happiness, and to look to my future with only hope and excitement for what is to come!