New Years resolutions...

I got to thinking last night about New Years resolutions...and how quickly the shallow ones I and many other people have made over the years quickly fade away. For example...a few years ago I decided to give up texting while I was driving...and on January 2nd I specifically remember texting and laughing to myself as I drove down the highway. I have never been a big fan of resolutions, or of New Years for that matter. But last year was different, and I know that every year will be amazing from here on out.

I realized thinking back to various New Years Eve's that the reason I hated so many of them is because I was just not happy with my life at that time. Living in Michigan really didn't help since it's gray pretty much from September through April...and there is literally no sun for months! While I was living there, there were so many things I didn't like about my life there, and many times I just felt like I was stuck in a world I just didn't want to be in. This is not to say that I am not thankful for the family and friends I have in Michigan...but my whole life I just never felt like I was at home when I was there.

Last year, New Years was different. I actually spent New Years with my family in Tahoe, and got to see an amazing display of fireworks timed to music high up on the snow covered mountain. I loved spending that time with my family, and had a blast skiing all over the mountain and hanging out in our amazing hotel right at the mountains edge. Although it was wonderful to be in such a great place, spending the time with my family is what really meant the most to me.

The other thing that made New Years amazing was that I had met Matt a few months earlier and was really starting to fall in love with my amazing man! We didn't spend New Years together because we were both with our families, but just knowing him and having him in my life made the new year so special and so full of excitement and love. Matt truly brings out the best in me and I feel the most me when I am with him. He brings out the hope and excitement and happiness and joy that is in my heart. He brings out the part of me who is passionate and loves to dream big, amazing dreams. He brings out the playful girl I am inside, and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the whole world! Mostly, he brings out the love that I have always had within myself...the love that I have always wanted to give to the special person I was meant to be with forever.

This past year has been filled with so many blessings...Finding the love of my life, so many life-long friends, stating my master's degree in something I truly love, getting engaged, planning our amazing wedding, and getting to spend time with the people I love the most while Matt has been away. Of course I will miss him this New Years...but no matter what, my heart couldn't help but be filled with pure joy!

So this year...I am not making a New Years resolution that is just going to fade away. Instead, I am making a promise to myself and to Matt that I will be thankful for every moment we have together, and live everyday with him, and with our friends and family as if it were my last. I want to live out the love, happiness, passion, and confidence I have found over this past year, and live my life so that it makes a difference in the lives of others.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures that celebrate some of my favorite memories from this past year...I only hope that all of you are as blessed this year as I have been. Celebrate every moment, and always remember to love yourself and the people around you!

Matt and I on our first Christmas! We spent the day and night with all of Matt's friends, who are now also my very good friends :) It was a Christmas I will never forget!

My family and me in Tahoe on New Years Eve. What do you mean I look like I drank an entire bottle of white wine by myself? I am NOT admitting anything! We had so much fun!

I know it's kinda hard to see, but these are my San Diego girls! We had so much fun at our favorite winery, Ponte. I was overjoyed to meet so many wonderful girls...my whole life all I wanted was a bunch of girlfriends...and they were more than I could have ever hoped for!

All of the girls at Lahaina...the best bar in San Diego! Don't I look so sick?? I may or may not have called into work that day due to sickness...my code name for drunkenness ;)

Aww...this is a perfect picture illustrating how much Matt and I play! I don't remember what eh was doing to me...but I was definitely fighting back! We have so much fun :)

Texas trip with Cara! We had so much fun with all of Cara's friends hanging out and raising money for her CF walk. I was honored to spend a week with Cara in Texas, and had an absolute blast! Seconds before Matt got down on his knee and proposed to me...I was so happy and so surprised! He made me the happiest girl in the world!!!

My cousin Natalie...who was there for our engagement :) Natalie is like a sister to me, and I was so happy she could be there for one of the most special moments of my life! We snuck away from the boys at a concert and found a little bar where we downed a couple of shots and then went back for the show!

Ok, from the back we have: Rob, AJ, me, Les, James, and Tony. The San Diego crew who kept me sane this summer while I was missing Matt. I don't know what I would have done without them!!! We had so much fun, and I want to thank them for being there for me. I also need to add Stephanie and Tania to the San Diego crew , but I don't have any pictures with them :( They are two girls who definitely helped me through the long summer without the love of my life! Thanks girls! Toni and April, who have been like sisters to me since I was 2. We went to the Allman Brothers concert and it was a blast! I have no memory of taking this picture...but we all look somewhat sober right?? I love my girls!

Cara, Ashley, and me eating some good Chinese food! I have really missed them since they left in February and April, so it was great to see them both my first weekend in Virginia! Ace Wire is BACK!!! ;)

Cara and I at the very creepy karaoke bar! I have been blessed to have the opportunity to spend time with Cara and she is one of my best friends! I am really going to miss her when I go back to San Diego!
Matt having fun on his little detour to another base. I love seeing pictures of him because it makes me feel close to him! I miss him and love him, and just want to thank him for making my life more amazing than I ever thought possible.

Ann and I at the USO. Meeting Ann and spending the last few months with her at the USO has been a true blessing in my life. Ann is one of the people that inspires you to live a life of service to others. She may not have the biggest house, and she may not get the beauty sleep that so many of us need to stay youthful...but her heart is in the ranks with Mother Theresa's, and she makes an impact on people's lives (including mine) each and every day! My "Saint Ann."

It's just not Christmas this year...

I didn't spend last Christmas with my family...instead, I came back from Michigan early to spend Christmas with Matt and our San Diego friends. Although I wasn't home, last Christmas felt more like home than it had in years. The guys weren't able to take leave last year because they were all still in the rag, so we had Christmas at Erin and John's house...and it was a blast! Although guitar hero was definitely the main event of the night...and on into the morning, there were a few other things that happened that night that truly changed my life! First, spending time with Matt that night was just another step in us getting to know each other better, and eventually led to us both realizing that we were meant to share our lives together forever. Second, I met all of Matt's friends, and some of them are now my closest friends, and will be for the rest of my life! Third, I remembered what it was like to just have fun during the holidays. I had so much fun with Matt and everyone, and the happiness I experienced last year will be with me this year, even though my heart and my home is half way across the world.

This Christmas, I will be with my parents and my step-dad's family in Atlanta...and I am thankful to have this opportunity. But I also know that this year just won't be the same without the love of my life here with me. For me, it won't feel like Christmas until Matt gets back in January...and I will still be in denial that the holidays are even happening until the day he is back in my arms.

I know I am not alone, and that along with Cara and Tiffany, there are many people whose one Christmas wish will not be granted this year...and their heart and home will still be deployed come Christmas morning. There are so many things that people who have not experienced deployment just do not understand...like why, when "I'll be home for Christmas" or "All I want for Christmas is you" comes on the radio or over the speakers at the mall, tears fill my eyes...or why I get so excited when I get an e-mail or a phone call from him...or why asking if Matt or any of the guys will be home for Christmas is something none of us want to hear.

This video is for all of those who have never experienced deployment...It's a reminder that Christmas just isn't the same for some people this year...and a reminder to be thankful for all the sacrifices our military men and women, and their families are making so that you can have the opportunity to celebrate this Christmas safely, and with everyone you love.

For everyone who does understand what it's like to be missing half your heart...you don't need a video or a song to make you understand...God bless you and keep you and your loved one safe this Christmas...and I know you will be loving and missing them every second until you finally get your Christmas wish, and they come home to you again.

Joy and tears...homecoming at the USO.

The day before we left for Texas I was invited to take part in a welcoming back of about 200 troops from Iraq. It was an amazing experience, and one that I will remember forever. There were many smiles and many tears. It was amazing to see families and couples reunited after so long, and it truly touched my heart. I felt very lucky to share in some wonderful moments with the couples and families...seeing couples embrace and kiss each other with a passion that is rarely seen in this world, seeing little boys and girls run to their daddy's and cover them with tears built up from months of missing them, and entire families hugging each other, and surrounding their military family member with love that is hard to describe. I knew this experience would bring me to tears...but it overwhelmed me even more than I though it would.

I couldn't help but think of the day that Matt will come home...the day I will feel his arms around me again...and kiss him with every ounce of emotion I have been feeling over the past 7 months. Thinking about that wonderful day, and seeing the love being expressed all around me brought me to tears. It is a very rare thing to see true passion and love between two people, and within a family...and I felt lucky to have experienced it all around me.

There a lot of people who criticize the military and I have heard "I could never do that" more times than I can count....but most people don't understand that when you love someone this much, you will wait forever for them, and it's not hard at all. After seeing these amazing men and women come home to their families, I am convinced once again that there are people in this world that know what true love really is. True love is about support, it's about sacrifice and patience, it's about waiting for the one you love, and embracing them with all you have when they come back to you again. Military families don't have the time to take each other for granted...and are forced into making the most of each and every moment they have together. Most couples don't realize how much they mean to each other until after they are already divorced, or one of them has passed away...but military couples know what life would be like without the other person...and how lucky they are to have time together.

The military life is not always easy...but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love Matt with all of my heart, and would wait a lifetime for him if I had to. I feel lucky to be apart of the military community, and will do whatever I can to give back what all of them have given to me...The chance to love who I want to love...to build the life and family I have always wanted...and the freedom to be who I am inside. We all owe our lives to the men and women who serve our country...it just seems like many people have forgotten about them and the sacrifices they make every day.

This post is dedicated to the men and women who serve our country and make sacrifices in order to fight for what they believe in....and to my very own hero, who I will love everyday of my life!

If anyone wants to check out pictures from the USO you can go to this link:

www.rickandannsspace.com

The USO has given me so much over the past few months, and I am honored to volunteer my time to serve with them.

Dancing in the rain

It's hot, humid, sticky, and rainy in Virginia Beach today...and I absolutely love it! It's the kind of rain that seems to fall in big globs down from heaven...the kind of rain that makes you want to put on a t-shirt and dance in it for hours. I love when it rains and it's warm out! When I was little my grandma would wrap me up after a bath and take me out in the rain in my towel. This is the kind of rain that makes me wish more than anything that Matt were here with me...I would drag him out in it and we would dance and play for hours. We haven't dance din the rain yet...It's pretty hard to find rain in San Diego (which I am not complaining about) but it's something I am really looking forward to doing when he gets home. I am hoping it will rain in Hawaii where the air is always warm and sweet...and we can dance together on the beach near the ocean...soaked from head to toe.

I really loved being back in Texas with Cara and her family and friends. I always feel very at home there, and everyone is so nice! Men are actually gentlemen, and you can always find good country music on the radio...her friends always greet me like I am a part of the group, and her family is always so kind and loving. I am convinced that I was a Texan in another life...every time I have been there when I was little, and with Cara, I have always loved it, and never wanted to leave. Being there makes me appreciate close families and friends.

I couldn't be happier with who God sent me to build a family with...I will love Matt for the rest of my life, and be thankful for him each and every day. I can't wait to start our own family together...just the two of us for a few years...then add in a fun-loving yellow lab we are going to name Clifford...then a few lil ones a few years after that. Mostly though...we will always pay attention to the little things...and make sure everyone in our family knows how truly loved they are!

I am so thankful to Cara and her family for showing me that close families do exist, and flourish with the ongoing presence of self-less love. I also want to thank the people in Houston and all over Texas who value family, friendship,God, pride, respect, manners, real tex-mex and some good old country music! Although Matt is where my home is...being in Texas definitely gets me closer to feeling like I am home when Matt is away.

Our Santa Barbara Adventures...

Waking up this morning to a news report about the fires that are heading toward Santa Barbara sparked this blog because Santa Barbara is one of mine and Matt's favorite places in California! We made two trips up there while we were dating before he left, and both were absolutely amazing!

The first trip was the more adventurous one, and it all started out with us driving up to Oceanside at the crack of down to catch the train up to Santa Barbara. The train was absolutely amazing because most of the time it runs along the ocean, and has wonderful views! Here are a few from the ride up:




The train actually takes quite a while, but it was worth it just for the experience and beautiful coast views. We got off the train in Santa Barbara and had no idea where to go! We really didn't do much research before we left...and didn't realize that it was a holiday weekend!!! We finally walked down to the main strip by the water and found a few hotels. After our 4th "we are all booked" response, we started to get a little scared! All of the hotels were booked for the entire weekend...so there we were with our heavy backpacks wondering if we would have to sleep on the beach. So, we did what any responsible adult couple would do...We went to the nearest bar!!! We got some food and lots of drinks and hung out at the bar on the pier for a few hours. I somewhat remember calling my mom and Cara for any ideas as to where we could stay...but the whole holiday weekend situation was not in our favor!

After the bar we decided to walk around more and see Santa Barbara. There were a few hotels that told us to call back after 5pm, so we had the entire day to backpack around the little town and explore. The first thing that caught my eye (which was already all blurry from the giant frozen alcoholic drinks) was a sign for wine tasting...so we stumbled over and checked it out. The little winery was great! For $10 we got 16 tastings which included every wine they produced. It really did not compare to Ponte...our favorite winery in San Diego...Where you get in free as military and can drink the entire day away!!! But, given our "homeless" situation at the time, it made us both very happy! The wine was really good, some of the best I have ever had! Many of them were very sweet, but they were sweetened with fruit and honey so that they were not just full of sugar. They also had crazy shaped wine bottles, which I would have saved forever! However...since it was just us and our backpacks, we had no room to take any bottles home with us :( However, the name of the winery is the Giessinger Winery, and I found a picture of some of their bottles on the internet:
After our wine buzz wore off, we headed back down to the beach to sit and wait for one of the hotels to call us. We found a coll little skate park and watched the kids skateboard for an hour or so, and then walked on the beach and took a few pictures:

As the sun began to set, we started getting a little worried. We had no place to stay, and it was getting dark! So, I got out our little map and just started going down the list calling hotels. God must have been watching out for us because the second hotel I called was the Best Western right on the water, and they had a big military discount! We almost ran down to the hotel and finally booked our room. It was so nice to be able to set down our backpacks, and head out on the town to do what we do best...eat and drink!!!
We found a really cute little pub and ate and had a few more drinks, and then headed back to our room. By this time we were so tired, and had to get back on the train so Matt could get back and stand duty at 12pm the next day. The hotel was really nice, and we had a great night!

At 5am, we grabbed our backpacks and headed back down toward the train. The sun was just coming up as we headed back toward home, and some of the views were just spectacular!

Our adventure didn't end with getting on the train...of course! There was a train accident on the track, and we were delayed a few hours. Of course Matt was not happy because he had to be there to stand duty...but we made it back to Oceanside just in time and he grabbed his camis and headed off to base. I ended up meeting Erin and John and the gang for lunch in PB.....and yes, more drinking!!! Then I got back home and passed out for the rest of the night. We definitely had a fun and adventurous trip, and looked forward to going back!!!

Our second trip to Santa Barbara was right before Matt left, and we decided to rent a Harley and drive up this time. So, we set out with me on the back hanging on for dear life (but I trusted Matt to drive me safely around) and we were off again!!!


A few hours later, and with my butt and back throbbing in pain, we arrived back in our favorite place! We did our research this time, and booked a hotel ahead of time. It was nice to pull right up and check in, and rest for a few hours . We then headed up into the mountains with the bike and started the really fun part of our trip. We ended up on these one lane roads way up in the mountains, and it was absolutely beautiful! Haha...every time we stopped to look at the view I convinced myself that Matt was going to propose...so although I was a little disappointed when he didn't, I did enjoy each and every moment with him! Matt was really excited because some of his favorite times were spent on a bike in the blue ridge mountains with his friends. He always talked about how beautiful that was, and how amazing it is to ride a bike through the mountains...although I am sure he thought the blue ridge mountains were more beautiful...I got an idea of what he meant from our time up in the Santa Barbara mountains. It was truly something that I will cherish and remember for the rest of my life! Here are a few pics from the top of the mountain:


I am literally thinking "why haven't you proposed yet??? When is it going to happen??" at this very moment ;) I am sure it didn't help that that morning I was a little but frustrated with the whole proposal situation, and when he asked me if I liked the girl's ring who was working at the counter I said "NO!" in a not so nice voice...and then really hurt his feelings because he thought my ring that he had already bought looked exactly like it...Oops!!! I really didn't even see her ring, I was just frustrated because I didn't have a ring yet...haha! And just so everyone knows, I wasn't upset because I just wanted to get engaged...I was getting frustrated because I loved Matt with all of my heart, and knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Our engagement the next weekend was actually perfect, and a HUGE surprise!!! So he did a great job :)


The trip back from Santa Barbara was just beautiful and we stopped once to just hang out and take pictures on the side of the road, and it was beautiful! We then headed home and half froze on the bike! But it was wonderful to just be on the back with my arms around Matt for hours at a time, and know that I would be hanging on to him forever! It really showed me that I truly trusted Matt because before that point, I would never get on a bike with anyone! Even though there were a few stressful moments , we worked together , supported each other, and had fun along the way! I will leave you all with some of the pics that we took on the way back,...I thought it was just beautiful, and a perfect ending to another amazing Santa Barbara Adventure!!!

The USO Center at Norfolk Naval Base

I spent my first full week volunteering at the USO center on the Norfolk Navy base. I have been looking forward to spending time at the USO ever since Matt deployed and was able to benefit from the USO that is set up on the Air Force base they deploy from. I have a very big heart for helping families, and now that I know some of what it is like to deal with the strains of a military lifestyle, I especially have a heart for military families.

The USO is an organization that provides support to every branch of the military, and has centers on military bases and military air terminals throughout the world. They provide support by offering a home-like environment in their centers complete with comfy furniture, tv's and lots of food, and also provide any other support the military members and their families may need. They also sponsor entertainment and music concerts for military members overseas.

I am in charge of the United Through Reading program at our center, and it is the most amazing program to help parents connect with their children even when they are deployed. The program provides military members who are deployed or are deploying with the opportunity to record a dvd of themselves reading a book to their children, or saying whatever they want to say. We actually have a room set up that is private and away from everyone else where they can pick a book and say anything they want to their children and family back at home. Families get the dvd and the book in the mail, and can watch it as many times as they want.



This is an amazing program, and it touches my heart every time someone comes in and is so excited to have the opportunity to stay connected with their kids and families. I set everything up for them, and then leave the room as quickly as possible. I actually leave the area as quick as I can because if I hear people start to talk to their kids I immediately just start crying! It just means the world to me that people are so concerned with staying connected to their kids and families, and it breaks my heart at the same time to think about what it is like for families with children to deal with deployments. I know that for many spouses and other family members, these videos mean more to them than they do to the children. There is something very comforting in being able to see your loved one there on the screen and hear there voice...especially when they are away for so long.



I feel so lucky to be able to share my time with everyone at our USO center, and feel especially blessed to have gotten to know Ann Morris, the director of the center. She has an amazing heart and has dedicated her life to serving the military in every way she can. She is an inspiration to me, and I know that I will learn a lot from her and her amazing life as a military mom.

Volunteering my time at the USO really makes me feel close to Matt, and I figure it is the best way I can help him from thousands of miles away, and give back to all of our military families who are all making sacrifices that the rest of the world can't even comprehend in order to protect our country, and our freedom!

Thursday at the USO was filled with lots of smiles and tears. The regional director for United Through Reading came in to see the progress with our reading room, and I was able to sit down with her and Ann and hear a little bit about their personal stories. We all ended up in tears as both women described their experiences with the USO while they were relocating, and dealing with deployments. Through the tears they described the USO as a word that meant safety and home to their children, and a place that offered them hope when they were struggling. It touched my heart to know that the USO truly makes a difference in people's lives, and that I can somehow contribute to their mission to provide above and beyond what anyone in the military could possibly need...until they all come home.

I know that God has provided me with the opportunity to share my time with the USO and everyone who comes into our center, and that even before I was born He made me with a heart that will always have enough love to spread to those in need, and cry out for those who are in need. I will cherish my time at the USO with Ann and all of our wonderful military men and women, and just ask that God let me continue to serve in this way when I have to go back to San Diego in a few months.

I wanted to leave everyone with the USO website and the link to donate...no matter what your views are about the military, they still need your help, and are sacrificing their lives to protect you and your family.

USO

Donate to the USO

The Durnin House

Well I am finally here in Virginia staying at the Durnin house with Cara and Shiner! I am so excited to be here, and am looking forward to spending the next couple months hanging out with Cara. Our first weekend was already lots of fun! I was so happy that our friend Ashley was in town, and we were all able to hang out and go to the worst karaoke bar ever...which was extremely entertaining! The rest of our weekend was filled with the new guitar hero for wii, which we beat in less than a day! For those of you who don't know guitar hero has been a tradition among our friends for the past year, and was our favorite thing to do when we were all in San Diego last year :)

I am having lots of fun with Cara and Shiner, and am so glad to be here! I was watching tv today and a show came on about a woman having her second baby. I have seen this show before, and usually its a really happy story about a couple having a baby...but today the story was filled with sadness. The woman began talking about how when she was months pregnant, two soldiers showed up at her door and informed her that her husband would not be coming home from his deployment. I watched for a few more minutes until the tears started rolling down my face and decided to change the channel. Things like that just hit a little too close to home, and are hard to even comprehend.

The show got me thinking, though, about life and about God. I know that God loves all of His children, and that He only wants the best for them...a life filled with happiness, faithfulness, and love. People often question God when bad things happen...like when they lose a loved one, or a natural disaster happens, or when life seems to be overwhelming and suffering is all around. I often think about everything that God has blessed me with...especially Matt and our friends and family, and our amazing life together, and this happiness and love that is in my heart, and I wonder why I am so blessed with an amazing man in my life...while others more deserving than me are having to say goodbye to the love of their life forever. I cannot begin to understand the pain of the woman in the show...or the pain of anyone who loses their loved one to a war. But I know that if given the choice...I would rather have to feel that pain and have experienced having Matt, the love of my life, in my life...than never having to feel that pain, and never have had the experience of having him close to me, and filling my heart and my life with a love I have never known before, and could never know with anyone except him.

Of course I have faith that God will continue to bless Matt and I with along and love-filled life together, and bless us with an amazing family of our own...and I try not to worry about the "what if's) in our future...because no matter what our future brings, I am already the happiest, and most blessed girl ever...and my life will be filled with joy and love forever because I have known Matt and have had him as a part of my life. I love him so much, and will be thankful to God for bringing him into my life forever!

God gives us amazing moments and people and relationships because He loves us...and along with the love and happiness of life also comes life's sufferings. God does not want us to suffer because He is angry, or because He doesn't care anymore...suffering is just a part of life. God blesses us with the happy times, and amazing, loving people that change our lives for the better...and forever...because He love us and knows that we all need light to counter the dark parts of life. All we have to do is take advantage of every "light" in our lives...let the light soak into our hearts and souls...let it fill us with a love that could never die...and the dark parts of life will never overwhelm us.

Its been a while

Well, its been a while since my last post, and I am feeling very "writer-esk" tonight so I figured I would finally post something. Actually, my writing mood was sparked by my jog down to my favorite park at sunset tonight....

I decided to run down to my favorite park again tonight to watch the sunset, and was dreading the run because last time I barely made it down the first street before I had to stop and take a break! It is very important to me that I get better at running because I really want to be able to run with Matt when he gets home, so running is a very big deal! So, I started out running toward the park, practicing my newly learned breathing technique (breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth) and actually felt really good! To my surprise, I made it all the way to the park without stopping once!!! It may not be that far, but it was a really big deal for me! I was so happy, and so proud of myself!!!

Once I made it to the par I sat down on one of the big rocks to watch the sunset, and ended up (as I have been doing lately) watching the people and dogs at the park more than I actually watched the sunset. I love going to this park because Matt and I got engaged there...and because lots of people come together to watch the sunset, and let their dogs run around and play. I love people, and dogs, so I am literally in heaven whenever I am there :) I watched lots of people tonight, mainly a father and his little boy. The little boy just wanted to pet all of the dogs, so all of the owners made their dogs lay down so that the little 3 year old could pet them. It was just so amazing to me the depth of connection everyone had with that little boy, and how people went out of their way to let him pet their doggies. San Diego can be a very unfriendly place, so it is a rare occasion to see strangers going out of their way to be friendly to one another here. I was just so touched by the human connections going on in the park tonight, and my heart was filled with joy! The sunset was beautiful too, and the ocean was almost flat and sparkling as the sun sank down. I actually looked behind me and saw the best view of the sunset...in the reflection of a window on a house across from the park. It was absolutely breathtaking!!!

There were so many little boys and girls and beautiful dogs running around and playing together, and it made me so me so happy!!! It fills me with joy for the present, and hope for the future, and for Matt and I's future family. A little girl was running back and forth across the park with a dog, and her laughter was so precious, it brought tears to my eyes! I can't wait until Matt and I get to bring a little life into this world, and get to hear the child's laughter for the first time...I know that it will truly be amazing!

I just felt so thankful tonight for everything in my life. For having Matt in my life, and being able to hear God guiding us each and every day...for all of our amazing friends, who make we feel at home even when my "home" (matt) is out in Iraq...for being able to be here, where the sun is always shining, and the ocean is always sparkling...for the little things like flowers, people and dogs at the park, the laughter of a child, a little black chihuahua (my new best doggie friend jack), and for the chance to just wake up and live each and every day. I am beyond blessed...and know that the purpose for my life is to spread those blessings to others.

Tonight I just want to thank God for all he has given me...and for the ability to look back on my past, and see so many fond memories, to look at the present as a blessing that fills me with happiness, and to look to my future with only hope and excitement for what is to come!

Surfing cures everything!!!

I had an amazing weekend filled with lots of surfing, and spending time with friends! I went surfing on Saturday after my class with James, and his friend Matt, and then Stephanie came with us and went for a run on the beach while we all surfed. I had a blast!!! It was so nice getting back in the water after being gone for a month!

After surfing we had a bbq at James', which has come to be one of my favorite things to do!!! It's nice to just hang out, eat, and talk with everyone. It is really like my "family" time since none of my actual family is here, and Matt is gone too. I also spent a lot of time playing with Jack, Stephanie's little chihuahua, and think I made a new best friend! He is too cute, and not your typical crazy chihuahua. He is really friendly, and so playful, and I had a great time chasing him around the house :)

After sleeping in on Sunday, James called and said that they were buying Stephanie a wetsuit, and that they were all going to go surfing in the afternoon. I am always excited when more girls want to learn to surf, since I am usually the only girl out there, so I threw on my wetsuit and headed down there! Les and I got there a little late and it took me forever to find everyone! I almost gave up...and then I saw them out of the corner of my eye and paddled, for what seemed like an eternity, over to our group! I had so much fun surfing with everyone! Sarah came too, and her and Stephanie did great!!! I did great too and caught a lot of waves! I dropped into one wave and it was the most amazing feeling...I was beyond excited! We all sat there on our boards and watched the sunset together...talking and cheering each other on. It was absolutely amazing, and a moment I will never forget!!!

This week has been a bit hectic with school, the wedding, and just everyday things I have been doing. I had a freak out moment where I thought we were going to have to change the wedding location again because airfare is so expensive...and spent two days stressing over what to do! We ended up deciding to keep it where it is, thank God! We will just have to figure out plane tickets for people, and help them out if they are ridiculously expensive...which is no problem!

I have actually been looking at wedding pictures and videos of weddings at the same resort, and they are amazing! The place is just beautiful, and I can't wait for everyone to be there and share in this special moment.

I am sending in the deposit for the wedding tomorrow, and ordered our save the date magnets today! They should be here by October 12th, so I will be getting them out right away after that so people can book air and rooms, and get the best possible price.

Anyway, after the way the beginning of the week went, I was very glad when Stephanie and I decided to go out surfing today! We met in Cardiff, one of my favorite spots, and paddled out for about two hours. The weather was beautiful, the waves were perfect, and we saw a seal and dolphins swimming right next to us!!! We are both animal lovers, so this was the best thing ever :) We both caught lots of waves, and had so much fun! We watched the beautiful sunset, and then went back to her place and grabbed some food. We had a great time talking, and she is officially my new surf buddy / girl friend :) I really needed a stress release, and I couldn't have asked for a better night!

I was happy to find a message from Matt waiting for me when I got home! (as they are the highlight of my day) And am just finishing up some homework before I go to bed.

This week has actually been good, in that I am learning to combat stress with activities that make me healthier...like surfing, rollerblading, and running! (Yes, me..running...longer distances...it's a miracle!) I feel really healthy and in shape and happy too!

Oh yeah, I also sold my surfboard (since I am using Matt's) and am buying an acoustic guitar, and I am so excited to learn how to play! I am really proud of myself for doing so many of the things I have always wanted to do, and I can't wait for Matt to come home and do those things with me! It's gonna be even more wonderful than it already is now :)

A new day

After an interesting weekend that left me feeling a little angry, sad, and sick of being around drunk people, I decided that I would wake up on Monday morning with some new goals, and take the first steps toward a new and more fulfilling life! I did get up early, but ran some errands before embarking on my new exercise regime. While I was at the grocery store buying healthy food, my mom called and told me that she was up all night worrying about the wedding. Since my mom is usually not a worrier I was concerned. She went up to visit my aunt and uncle and was very disappointed in the condition of the farm where we were going to hold the wedding and reception, and that we needed to come up with a better plan. We did have a back up location, but that seems to have fallen through as well because it just isn't big enough, and does not reflect what I want for the wedding.

So....about an hour of brainstorming my mom and I came up with the idea to have the wedding in Mexico! I talked it over with Matt, my bridesmaids, and Matt's family and we have now officially moved the wedding south! We are thinking Cabo San Lucas right now, and are looking for a resort that will accommodate us and our friends and family. We still want to have a reception and everything...so I am very excited! I think Cabo is a better reflection of Matt and I anyway because we both love tropical weather, adventure, the ocean, ocean sports, swimming and the sunshine! Plus, we have always said that we want it to be a big party for everyone, and something that no one will forget...so I think Cabo is the perfect place!

I did eventually take my first steps on my journey to the new me yesterday afternoon. I rollerbladed around the bay for over an hour and got a great workout! I realized last Saturday when I was on my way to class that I want to be the kind of person who gets up early and starts their day with some sort of outdoor activity. As I drove by the bay I saw lots of people walking dogs, rollerblading, running, and biking on the great paths that are all around there, and instantly promised myself that I would do the same! Well, I felt great after my rollerblading session....so great that I am thinking about going again today! Maybe this will turn into an everyday thing rather than a three times a week thing.

I just love the weather here, and being outside in the sun and by the water. I had a great time just rollerblading along and taking in all of the beautiful parts of southern California! And to add the whole we are getting married in Cabo thing to it....well, it's just amazing!!!

I wanted to thank all of my friends who got to hear all about my weekend and how I felt about it! I don't know what I would do without my best friend, Matt, and my other best friends Cara and Toni. Thank you all for listening and being there for me when I needed you!!! I am so thankful to have all of you in my life, and cannot wait to continue this journey with you all!

Well, I am off to do some more rollerblading...Yay for the new me!!!

I had an amazing time with my mom tonight fighting for something I believe in! We went and volunteered to help out at the McCain / Palin event tonight here in Michigan, and it was amazing! I have never really felt that politics were a personal issue or thing in my life. I was never really effected a whole lot by who was in office...and could really care less who got in. For many years I voted along with most of my family...not really knowing what the party stood for or anything. Over the past year my life has changed drastically. I moved away and found a new part of myself that I love! I also found a man that I love...and a new life with him, our friends, and the military. Now, politics are a personal issue for me...because the commander and chief of our country is who is leading my future husband, and the military as a whole. Other than the military, I have also found a deep passion for God, family, morals, and a more conservative view and belief for life in general. I have found myself right in the heart of the republican movement...and am beyond happy and proud to support McCain and Palin in this election. Here are some pics from the event:












Tonight was an amazing experience...I met so many wonderful people who love the same things I do..like God, family, and our country...There were many emotional moments for me too, as I listened to various marines, navy guys, and veterans share their stories. The most powerful speech of the night was given by a single mom who raised her children by herself, and then supported them as the daughter became a missionary, and the son became a marine in order to serve his country. She emphasized how she worked hard...and how her hard work and love of God was passed down to her children. It was amazing to hear everyone's stories...ad to be surrounded by a ton of people who share the same views as I do.

It was great to share this experience with my mom also...as she is a new republican now too! I knew the moment I heard about the event that I had to go. I was more than proud to go and support people who support Matt...and all of our military!!! I talked to a lot of people, and told them all about Matt and how proud I am of him. I thought of all the people I know who are in the military, and how amazing they all are to love their country enough to make the sacrifices they all make. I think John McCain is a wonderful man...the way he not only survived being a pow but did it while leading the men around him is truly inspiring!!! And his love for our country is one that adds to my own passion for loving and supporting our amazing country.

I know that God led me to the convention...and led me back here to Michigan for a reason...and I am so glad I listened to Him and followed Him. I have found a new passion for supporting our military, and the political party and values that I believe in. In doing this, I have found a new connection with people all over the country, and a deep love for all of them. I am excited to take the energy from tonight and put it into making a difference in this world, however I can. Doing things I feel passionately about truly brings out the best in me...it brings out my strength and leadership and compassion and empathy and understanding more than anything else I can ever do! It makes me see who and what I am inside, and the amazing gifts God has blessed me with in order to make a difference in our world.

I want to thank Matt for inspiring me to go to this event in the first place...I thought about how he is over in Iraq working and sacrificing for our country, and realized that I needed to use my time and my life for a good cause too! This is nothing new...Matt has always inspired me, and brought out the very best in me...and I am forever grateful that I have him, and our wonderful friends in my life!!!

Flowers made me smile

I woke up this morning to a delivery truck at my door and a box willed with these:


...And a very sweet note from my wonderful fiance :) They were beautiful, and a great surprise! Haha...I wasn't the only one who liked them though...I put them in my room and someone else found them to be very amusing:




My sweet kitty poof found them and played with the little whispy green things forever! It was too cute! I had to remind her later, when she finally almost knocked them off the table, that they were for me...not her! ;) I absolutely loved the flowers...and love Matt even more! I am such a lucky girl to have him in my life, and it means the world to me that he is thinking about me and loving me all the way from Iraq!

I have had fun since I have been home...here are some of the pics from my various outings with friends:





I have enjoyed visiting Michigan...but after being gone for almost a month I really miss San Diego! I miss my friends, the ocean, our apartment and bedroom, surfing, the sunshine, and just feeling like I am at "home". I love my friends here, but have also changed a lot since I moved away a year ago. Instead of feeling at home here, I feel like San Diego is my true home now, and I can't wait to get back! :)

Since I have been home we have been on a camping river trip, gone to an allman brothers concert, visited my college and professors, hung out with my kitty and doggies and my family, got a new phone, and hung around with friends. This whole "vacation" has been so busy, and I am exhausted!

Tomorrow my mom and I are going to be volunteering at the John McCain event tomorrow, and working hard for something we both believe in. I am excited to see what McCain and Palin have to say, and to just do whatever I can to help out at the event.

Saturday and Sunday we are going to be wedding dress shopping, finally, and I am beyond excited! It will be fun to share this experience with my family and friends, and to finally feel like a real bride...I know when I see myself in a beautiful dress I will be super emotional because it will all really seem real that I have found the love of my life and will be marrying him in 7 months!

For now, I am just doing what I can to be there for my friends who need me, and to raise awareness that people need to support our troops in Iraq. I think all too often people forget that the people we love are out there fighting for them, and for people who cannot enjoy the same freedoms we do...and that they do it because they love all of us, and want us all to continue living the lives we love. No matter what anyone's views are on the war, or the president, or anything else...our loved ones are out there sacrificing their comfortable lives here, volunteering to be away from their families because they believe in our country, and are willing to protect it no matter what that may involve....and their families are here missing them, and waiting for the wonderful day when they finally get to come back home! We need to pray always for our military and their families...and let them know we are thankful for what they do each and every day.

Though some parts of being back in Michigan have been difficult...like realizing that I just don't fit in here anymore because I have changed so much...I have continually asked God to show me the purpose in me being here, and God has shown me that I am here just to be there for the people who need me. I am happy to have had many opportunities to talk with people and offer them support and encouragement that could possibly change their lives for the better...and I am so thankful to God for showing me that there is good and a purpose in every situation. I can't wait for God to show both Matt and I what our purpose in this life is together, and to live it out with him each and every day for the rest of our lives!!!