New Years resolutions...

I got to thinking last night about New Years resolutions...and how quickly the shallow ones I and many other people have made over the years quickly fade away. For example...a few years ago I decided to give up texting while I was driving...and on January 2nd I specifically remember texting and laughing to myself as I drove down the highway. I have never been a big fan of resolutions, or of New Years for that matter. But last year was different, and I know that every year will be amazing from here on out.

I realized thinking back to various New Years Eve's that the reason I hated so many of them is because I was just not happy with my life at that time. Living in Michigan really didn't help since it's gray pretty much from September through April...and there is literally no sun for months! While I was living there, there were so many things I didn't like about my life there, and many times I just felt like I was stuck in a world I just didn't want to be in. This is not to say that I am not thankful for the family and friends I have in Michigan...but my whole life I just never felt like I was at home when I was there.

Last year, New Years was different. I actually spent New Years with my family in Tahoe, and got to see an amazing display of fireworks timed to music high up on the snow covered mountain. I loved spending that time with my family, and had a blast skiing all over the mountain and hanging out in our amazing hotel right at the mountains edge. Although it was wonderful to be in such a great place, spending the time with my family is what really meant the most to me.

The other thing that made New Years amazing was that I had met Matt a few months earlier and was really starting to fall in love with my amazing man! We didn't spend New Years together because we were both with our families, but just knowing him and having him in my life made the new year so special and so full of excitement and love. Matt truly brings out the best in me and I feel the most me when I am with him. He brings out the hope and excitement and happiness and joy that is in my heart. He brings out the part of me who is passionate and loves to dream big, amazing dreams. He brings out the playful girl I am inside, and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the whole world! Mostly, he brings out the love that I have always had within myself...the love that I have always wanted to give to the special person I was meant to be with forever.

This past year has been filled with so many blessings...Finding the love of my life, so many life-long friends, stating my master's degree in something I truly love, getting engaged, planning our amazing wedding, and getting to spend time with the people I love the most while Matt has been away. Of course I will miss him this New Years...but no matter what, my heart couldn't help but be filled with pure joy!

So this year...I am not making a New Years resolution that is just going to fade away. Instead, I am making a promise to myself and to Matt that I will be thankful for every moment we have together, and live everyday with him, and with our friends and family as if it were my last. I want to live out the love, happiness, passion, and confidence I have found over this past year, and live my life so that it makes a difference in the lives of others.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures that celebrate some of my favorite memories from this past year...I only hope that all of you are as blessed this year as I have been. Celebrate every moment, and always remember to love yourself and the people around you!

Matt and I on our first Christmas! We spent the day and night with all of Matt's friends, who are now also my very good friends :) It was a Christmas I will never forget!

My family and me in Tahoe on New Years Eve. What do you mean I look like I drank an entire bottle of white wine by myself? I am NOT admitting anything! We had so much fun!

I know it's kinda hard to see, but these are my San Diego girls! We had so much fun at our favorite winery, Ponte. I was overjoyed to meet so many wonderful girls...my whole life all I wanted was a bunch of girlfriends...and they were more than I could have ever hoped for!

All of the girls at Lahaina...the best bar in San Diego! Don't I look so sick?? I may or may not have called into work that day due to sickness...my code name for drunkenness ;)

Aww...this is a perfect picture illustrating how much Matt and I play! I don't remember what eh was doing to me...but I was definitely fighting back! We have so much fun :)

Texas trip with Cara! We had so much fun with all of Cara's friends hanging out and raising money for her CF walk. I was honored to spend a week with Cara in Texas, and had an absolute blast! Seconds before Matt got down on his knee and proposed to me...I was so happy and so surprised! He made me the happiest girl in the world!!!

My cousin Natalie...who was there for our engagement :) Natalie is like a sister to me, and I was so happy she could be there for one of the most special moments of my life! We snuck away from the boys at a concert and found a little bar where we downed a couple of shots and then went back for the show!

Ok, from the back we have: Rob, AJ, me, Les, James, and Tony. The San Diego crew who kept me sane this summer while I was missing Matt. I don't know what I would have done without them!!! We had so much fun, and I want to thank them for being there for me. I also need to add Stephanie and Tania to the San Diego crew , but I don't have any pictures with them :( They are two girls who definitely helped me through the long summer without the love of my life! Thanks girls! Toni and April, who have been like sisters to me since I was 2. We went to the Allman Brothers concert and it was a blast! I have no memory of taking this picture...but we all look somewhat sober right?? I love my girls!

Cara, Ashley, and me eating some good Chinese food! I have really missed them since they left in February and April, so it was great to see them both my first weekend in Virginia! Ace Wire is BACK!!! ;)

Cara and I at the very creepy karaoke bar! I have been blessed to have the opportunity to spend time with Cara and she is one of my best friends! I am really going to miss her when I go back to San Diego!
Matt having fun on his little detour to another base. I love seeing pictures of him because it makes me feel close to him! I miss him and love him, and just want to thank him for making my life more amazing than I ever thought possible.

Ann and I at the USO. Meeting Ann and spending the last few months with her at the USO has been a true blessing in my life. Ann is one of the people that inspires you to live a life of service to others. She may not have the biggest house, and she may not get the beauty sleep that so many of us need to stay youthful...but her heart is in the ranks with Mother Theresa's, and she makes an impact on people's lives (including mine) each and every day! My "Saint Ann."

It's just not Christmas this year...

I didn't spend last Christmas with my family...instead, I came back from Michigan early to spend Christmas with Matt and our San Diego friends. Although I wasn't home, last Christmas felt more like home than it had in years. The guys weren't able to take leave last year because they were all still in the rag, so we had Christmas at Erin and John's house...and it was a blast! Although guitar hero was definitely the main event of the night...and on into the morning, there were a few other things that happened that night that truly changed my life! First, spending time with Matt that night was just another step in us getting to know each other better, and eventually led to us both realizing that we were meant to share our lives together forever. Second, I met all of Matt's friends, and some of them are now my closest friends, and will be for the rest of my life! Third, I remembered what it was like to just have fun during the holidays. I had so much fun with Matt and everyone, and the happiness I experienced last year will be with me this year, even though my heart and my home is half way across the world.

This Christmas, I will be with my parents and my step-dad's family in Atlanta...and I am thankful to have this opportunity. But I also know that this year just won't be the same without the love of my life here with me. For me, it won't feel like Christmas until Matt gets back in January...and I will still be in denial that the holidays are even happening until the day he is back in my arms.

I know I am not alone, and that along with Cara and Tiffany, there are many people whose one Christmas wish will not be granted this year...and their heart and home will still be deployed come Christmas morning. There are so many things that people who have not experienced deployment just do not understand...like why, when "I'll be home for Christmas" or "All I want for Christmas is you" comes on the radio or over the speakers at the mall, tears fill my eyes...or why I get so excited when I get an e-mail or a phone call from him...or why asking if Matt or any of the guys will be home for Christmas is something none of us want to hear.

This video is for all of those who have never experienced deployment...It's a reminder that Christmas just isn't the same for some people this year...and a reminder to be thankful for all the sacrifices our military men and women, and their families are making so that you can have the opportunity to celebrate this Christmas safely, and with everyone you love.

For everyone who does understand what it's like to be missing half your heart...you don't need a video or a song to make you understand...God bless you and keep you and your loved one safe this Christmas...and I know you will be loving and missing them every second until you finally get your Christmas wish, and they come home to you again.

Joy and tears...homecoming at the USO.

The day before we left for Texas I was invited to take part in a welcoming back of about 200 troops from Iraq. It was an amazing experience, and one that I will remember forever. There were many smiles and many tears. It was amazing to see families and couples reunited after so long, and it truly touched my heart. I felt very lucky to share in some wonderful moments with the couples and families...seeing couples embrace and kiss each other with a passion that is rarely seen in this world, seeing little boys and girls run to their daddy's and cover them with tears built up from months of missing them, and entire families hugging each other, and surrounding their military family member with love that is hard to describe. I knew this experience would bring me to tears...but it overwhelmed me even more than I though it would.

I couldn't help but think of the day that Matt will come home...the day I will feel his arms around me again...and kiss him with every ounce of emotion I have been feeling over the past 7 months. Thinking about that wonderful day, and seeing the love being expressed all around me brought me to tears. It is a very rare thing to see true passion and love between two people, and within a family...and I felt lucky to have experienced it all around me.

There a lot of people who criticize the military and I have heard "I could never do that" more times than I can count....but most people don't understand that when you love someone this much, you will wait forever for them, and it's not hard at all. After seeing these amazing men and women come home to their families, I am convinced once again that there are people in this world that know what true love really is. True love is about support, it's about sacrifice and patience, it's about waiting for the one you love, and embracing them with all you have when they come back to you again. Military families don't have the time to take each other for granted...and are forced into making the most of each and every moment they have together. Most couples don't realize how much they mean to each other until after they are already divorced, or one of them has passed away...but military couples know what life would be like without the other person...and how lucky they are to have time together.

The military life is not always easy...but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love Matt with all of my heart, and would wait a lifetime for him if I had to. I feel lucky to be apart of the military community, and will do whatever I can to give back what all of them have given to me...The chance to love who I want to love...to build the life and family I have always wanted...and the freedom to be who I am inside. We all owe our lives to the men and women who serve our country...it just seems like many people have forgotten about them and the sacrifices they make every day.

This post is dedicated to the men and women who serve our country and make sacrifices in order to fight for what they believe in....and to my very own hero, who I will love everyday of my life!

If anyone wants to check out pictures from the USO you can go to this link:

www.rickandannsspace.com

The USO has given me so much over the past few months, and I am honored to volunteer my time to serve with them.

Dancing in the rain

It's hot, humid, sticky, and rainy in Virginia Beach today...and I absolutely love it! It's the kind of rain that seems to fall in big globs down from heaven...the kind of rain that makes you want to put on a t-shirt and dance in it for hours. I love when it rains and it's warm out! When I was little my grandma would wrap me up after a bath and take me out in the rain in my towel. This is the kind of rain that makes me wish more than anything that Matt were here with me...I would drag him out in it and we would dance and play for hours. We haven't dance din the rain yet...It's pretty hard to find rain in San Diego (which I am not complaining about) but it's something I am really looking forward to doing when he gets home. I am hoping it will rain in Hawaii where the air is always warm and sweet...and we can dance together on the beach near the ocean...soaked from head to toe.

I really loved being back in Texas with Cara and her family and friends. I always feel very at home there, and everyone is so nice! Men are actually gentlemen, and you can always find good country music on the radio...her friends always greet me like I am a part of the group, and her family is always so kind and loving. I am convinced that I was a Texan in another life...every time I have been there when I was little, and with Cara, I have always loved it, and never wanted to leave. Being there makes me appreciate close families and friends.

I couldn't be happier with who God sent me to build a family with...I will love Matt for the rest of my life, and be thankful for him each and every day. I can't wait to start our own family together...just the two of us for a few years...then add in a fun-loving yellow lab we are going to name Clifford...then a few lil ones a few years after that. Mostly though...we will always pay attention to the little things...and make sure everyone in our family knows how truly loved they are!

I am so thankful to Cara and her family for showing me that close families do exist, and flourish with the ongoing presence of self-less love. I also want to thank the people in Houston and all over Texas who value family, friendship,God, pride, respect, manners, real tex-mex and some good old country music! Although Matt is where my home is...being in Texas definitely gets me closer to feeling like I am home when Matt is away.