Hard to believe...

It's hard to believe that exactly year ago yesterday Matt and I packed up his stuff and made the drive to base so that he could set out on what was one of the hardest things we had ever done so far as a couple...his first deployment. Sometimes it still feels like just yesterday I was hugging him for the last time in 7 months (but what felt like the last time in forever) and then walking away with tears in my eyes, leaving him standing there alone. We found ourselves saying goodbye once again this morning, and, although this time it was just for a few days, I couldn't help the tears from falling. No...I'm not crazy, and I know he will be back by the end of the weekend, but the memory of the last time we said goodbye is still in my heart, and brought up all those emotions of sadness and longing.

As you other pilot's wives know being a new guy in a squadron isn't easy, and on top of everything else he has to do, Matt is coming off of a year break from flying since the Marines needed him to fill another much needed spot in Iraq. He is more busy now then he has ever been, and doing an amazing job working and flying even though he is overwhelmed and exhausted. It would be easy for him to get angry and lose sight of his passion for flying and serving his country amid all of the stress...but he still comes home every night excited about just flying the best he can.

I am so proud of Matt, and proud of the life that we are building together! Sometimes it's hard when I realize that there so many things I want to do and share with him that I will end up doing on my own because of his schedule...and it's easy to feel a little lonely. But then I realize how lucky I am to have Matt in my life at all...and how amazing it is to be able to build a marriage and life with him...and I can't help but be filled with happiness.

You could say that military wives have to go through a lot...and that's true. There's lot that we have to deal with that other wives don't...there are more goodbyes, more missed holidays, more planning our lives around his schedule, more time spent sleeping alone at night...But we also get to experience our lives and marriages with depth that can only be reached through a little suffering. We all know first hand what our daily lives would be like without our husbands in them, so there is no time to take him for granted...we learn to soak up every moment, and let the joy and happiness we feel last as long as possible. Our love is not one that can only last if it is nurtured day in and day out...but a love that reaches over thousands of miles to keep us closer to one another than a couple who spends every day together. It's no ordinary life...and it's no ordinary love.

Although this weekend will include one of those times when Matt and I are not able to share an exciting event in our lives together, (picking up our puppy) it's another opportunity for us both to know just how loved we are...it's an opportunity for us to lean on our friends and share our life experiences with them. Instead of going to pick up Clifford by myself on Sunday, our friend Stephanie will be there with me to take pictures and keep him from eating my car on the ride home. I cannot describe in words how much love and support our friends bring into our life together, or how much I love all of them. The time I spent with our friends here in San Diego, and with Cara in Virginia last year, led to the deepening of my friendships in ways I never knew possible.

The life of a military wife is many things...but for me, it's a life filled with more love than any one person was ever meant to have...and I thank God for this life... through the struggles and triumphs... each and every day.

Puppy Update

After picking out Clifford last weekend, we have been counting down the weeks until we can go back and finally bring him home! Our breeder Cathy sent us some updated pictures of the puppies tonight, and they are SO cute!!! Ugh...it's gonna be so hard to wait another two weeks! We are beginning to get everything Clifford will need, and to puppy proof the house, though, so it's good that we have some time to prepare for the first addition to our family :) We will keep you all updated as we get closer to "P-DAY" (puppy day).

Here are the pics...the only problem is that they all look so much alike, we can't tell for sure which one is Clifford! They are all super cute though ;)

We think he might be the little guy sleeping by the frog in the second pic...

Which one do you think is Clifford?

Pretty sure that's him napping by the frog...we will have to get him one when he comes home! Gosh, lab puppies are the cutest little things in the whole world, aren't they? Can't wait!!!

Summer 2009...so far!

Wow...this summer is starting out busy, but soooo amazing! I feel like a million things have happened since May...Cara's walk in Texas, school starting, a trip to Big Bear, hanging out with friends in San Diego, my friends Toni and Corey getting engaged, my mom's dog coming to visit, and picking out the newest member of the Holmes family!!! Here is a quick summery of each:

Cara's Corps 2009 in Houston, TX: I was honored to join Cara in Texas again this year for her walk...and I am so happy that her and P finally got to hang out in their favorite place together again, and take their honeymoon too! The walk was amazing...there were almost double the people from last year and we raised over $10,000! I know that we all love Cara so much that we just won't sit back and let CF win...we will fight it together until there is cure! I always feel so lucky to be able to go to Texas and spend time with Cara and her family (Shiner too!) and friends...and this trip was wonderful as usual!

P.S. Just a small tip for those of you who ever get the chance to try Cara's step-mom Rosalba's sangria...If you start eating the fruit in the bottom of the pitcher you may not be able to stand afterward! ;) But it's soooooo good!

Cara and I with Warren...It's a tradition!

Out at a bar that ISN"T filled with smoke! I love Cara and her friends!

The team at the walk!

School starting isn't that exciting...I am taking Group Therapy, Maladaptive, and Development. Can't you hear me bursting with excitement? Yeah pry not...But it is nice to be back in school and learning how to help people who really need it. I am setting up a volunteer site at a hospice in San Diego so I can start getting some good experience before I do my internship next year, so I will keep you all updated on how that goes. One of my friends from school, Caroline, is getting married in a few weeks and Matt and I are very excited to go to our first wedding together!

For Memorial Day we decided to head up to Big Bear and rent a cabin for a few days. It was tons of fun but very dry and we had to adjust to that! We had a lot of fun cooking out, hiking, going out on the lake, and watching an outdoor movie with all the neighbors. It is absolutely beautiful up there in the mountains, and we both felt like it was a nice mini-vacation.

On the way up!

Fishing on the lake...we didn't catch anything but we still had fun!

We finally found a "big bear" ;)

I was very excited when my friend Toni called me to let me know that she and her boyfriend Corey got engaged! It was very cute...He had a puzzle made with their picture on it and inside the puzzle box was the ring! Can't wait for their wedding next June! Believe it or not, we are figuring out what I would have to do to be able to legally officiate the ceremony!!! They wanted someone close to them to do it and not a stranger, and I am honored that they asked me :) I will let you know how preparations are going! You can check out pics of Toni and Corey in my blog before this!

We have enjoyed hanging out with our friends here in San Diego too! Most of the time we all make dinner and hang out at one of our houses, or go out to eat, or bbq, or go out downtown. There are so many things to do here in SD...and I am so excited that Matt will be here this summer to experience all of the fun with me :) We do miss our friends who are deployed...James, Tom, and the rest of the guys...and are keeping them in our prayers all the time!

We are just waiting for the ocean to warm up a bit and then we will be going out surfing every weekend...so I am really looking forward to that! We are also planning on going to a lot of baseball games and doing other fun things over the summer where we can get big groups of us to go :)

A few weeks ago my mom sent her dog Buffy out so that we could watch her for the summer, and it has been great! She is great practice for our lab puppy and we have had so much fun playing with her and taking her on walks! She is a sweet girl, poodle-shish tzu mix, and 10 years old, but she still acts and plays like a puppy! She is in love with Matt and is always laying on him, cuddling up to him, and crying when he leaves...haha, it's the cutest thing! We will have Buffy until about September, and are hoping she can teach our puppy lots of good things :)

She looooves her new bed and stuffed duck!

Hey! That used to be my spot!

First, I just have to say that the following pictures are two of our favorite labs Shiner and Tucker's fault...Ever since we met Tucker over a year ago at the Durnin's house we knew we wanted to get a lab someday! Then, to make matters worse...I was able to meet and spend time with Shiner when I stayed with Cara over the winter....and then got to see him again when I went to Texas! Matt and I just couldn't stand it anymore, and even moved to a new townhouse so that we could get a dog...and seeing Shi a few weeks ago and having Buffy just pushed us over the edge! We were in full puppy-fever and couldn't stop looking for breeders online. We were lucky enough to find an amazing breeder with the sweetest dogs...and went "just look" at puppies on Saturday (which was the highlight of our week). Well...this is what happened:

First we met the parents...Pat and Sedona! Pat, who weighs 110lbs, came in and immediately leaned against us and rolled over on his back all flopped out on the floor so we would scratch his belly. Sedona sat quietly and sweetly and just looked up at us with loving eyes that begged for a good petting. They were absolutely perfect and well-behaved, and they are only 2 1/2! We knew immediately that we wanted a dog just like Pat because he is a mixture of Tucker and Shiner and got soooo excited to play with the puppies!

Then we met the puppies! There were 4 male puppies left and we spent 2 hours on the floor playing with each of them and trying to get a feel for their little personalities :) We both agreed that this guy (the biggest of the litter) looked the most like his dad and had a balance of courage, playfulness, and just plain love...

No one could resist that face!!! Not even Matt...who was very careful to not let me get my hopes up too much since this was the first time we went out looking at puppies. But...it was love at first sight ;) He is going to be an amazing daddy!!!

So here he is...our little puppy Clifford! He is 5 weeks old and we get to pick him up in 3 weeks :) We can't wait, and are so excited to officially add the first member to our family!!! We will keep you updated on his growth...he is going to be a big boy, and I know from watching Shi that he will be an adult before we know it!

Well...that's our summer so far, and I can't wait to see what the coming months will bring us! I am overjoyed that I get to spend this summer with Matt and our little family and friends...and plan to force all of our other friends to come and visit! (You all know who you are...Cara and P, Kasey, Erin, Toni and Corey, Natalie and Shane, Taylor and Jon, and everyone else who isn't here on the west coast) .