Hard to believe...

It's hard to believe that exactly year ago yesterday Matt and I packed up his stuff and made the drive to base so that he could set out on what was one of the hardest things we had ever done so far as a couple...his first deployment. Sometimes it still feels like just yesterday I was hugging him for the last time in 7 months (but what felt like the last time in forever) and then walking away with tears in my eyes, leaving him standing there alone. We found ourselves saying goodbye once again this morning, and, although this time it was just for a few days, I couldn't help the tears from falling. No...I'm not crazy, and I know he will be back by the end of the weekend, but the memory of the last time we said goodbye is still in my heart, and brought up all those emotions of sadness and longing.

As you other pilot's wives know being a new guy in a squadron isn't easy, and on top of everything else he has to do, Matt is coming off of a year break from flying since the Marines needed him to fill another much needed spot in Iraq. He is more busy now then he has ever been, and doing an amazing job working and flying even though he is overwhelmed and exhausted. It would be easy for him to get angry and lose sight of his passion for flying and serving his country amid all of the stress...but he still comes home every night excited about just flying the best he can.

I am so proud of Matt, and proud of the life that we are building together! Sometimes it's hard when I realize that there so many things I want to do and share with him that I will end up doing on my own because of his schedule...and it's easy to feel a little lonely. But then I realize how lucky I am to have Matt in my life at all...and how amazing it is to be able to build a marriage and life with him...and I can't help but be filled with happiness.

You could say that military wives have to go through a lot...and that's true. There's lot that we have to deal with that other wives don't...there are more goodbyes, more missed holidays, more planning our lives around his schedule, more time spent sleeping alone at night...But we also get to experience our lives and marriages with depth that can only be reached through a little suffering. We all know first hand what our daily lives would be like without our husbands in them, so there is no time to take him for granted...we learn to soak up every moment, and let the joy and happiness we feel last as long as possible. Our love is not one that can only last if it is nurtured day in and day out...but a love that reaches over thousands of miles to keep us closer to one another than a couple who spends every day together. It's no ordinary life...and it's no ordinary love.

Although this weekend will include one of those times when Matt and I are not able to share an exciting event in our lives together, (picking up our puppy) it's another opportunity for us both to know just how loved we are...it's an opportunity for us to lean on our friends and share our life experiences with them. Instead of going to pick up Clifford by myself on Sunday, our friend Stephanie will be there with me to take pictures and keep him from eating my car on the ride home. I cannot describe in words how much love and support our friends bring into our life together, or how much I love all of them. The time I spent with our friends here in San Diego, and with Cara in Virginia last year, led to the deepening of my friendships in ways I never knew possible.

The life of a military wife is many things...but for me, it's a life filled with more love than any one person was ever meant to have...and I thank God for this life... through the struggles and triumphs... each and every day.