It's just not Christmas this year...

I didn't spend last Christmas with my family...instead, I came back from Michigan early to spend Christmas with Matt and our San Diego friends. Although I wasn't home, last Christmas felt more like home than it had in years. The guys weren't able to take leave last year because they were all still in the rag, so we had Christmas at Erin and John's house...and it was a blast! Although guitar hero was definitely the main event of the night...and on into the morning, there were a few other things that happened that night that truly changed my life! First, spending time with Matt that night was just another step in us getting to know each other better, and eventually led to us both realizing that we were meant to share our lives together forever. Second, I met all of Matt's friends, and some of them are now my closest friends, and will be for the rest of my life! Third, I remembered what it was like to just have fun during the holidays. I had so much fun with Matt and everyone, and the happiness I experienced last year will be with me this year, even though my heart and my home is half way across the world.

This Christmas, I will be with my parents and my step-dad's family in Atlanta...and I am thankful to have this opportunity. But I also know that this year just won't be the same without the love of my life here with me. For me, it won't feel like Christmas until Matt gets back in January...and I will still be in denial that the holidays are even happening until the day he is back in my arms.

I know I am not alone, and that along with Cara and Tiffany, there are many people whose one Christmas wish will not be granted this year...and their heart and home will still be deployed come Christmas morning. There are so many things that people who have not experienced deployment just do not understand...like why, when "I'll be home for Christmas" or "All I want for Christmas is you" comes on the radio or over the speakers at the mall, tears fill my eyes...or why I get so excited when I get an e-mail or a phone call from him...or why asking if Matt or any of the guys will be home for Christmas is something none of us want to hear.

This video is for all of those who have never experienced deployment...It's a reminder that Christmas just isn't the same for some people this year...and a reminder to be thankful for all the sacrifices our military men and women, and their families are making so that you can have the opportunity to celebrate this Christmas safely, and with everyone you love.

For everyone who does understand what it's like to be missing half your heart...you don't need a video or a song to make you understand...God bless you and keep you and your loved one safe this Christmas...and I know you will be loving and missing them every second until you finally get your Christmas wish, and they come home to you again.