Benches....

I decided tonight that benches were made for couples...I rode Matt's bike to our park tonight to watch the sunset over the ocean, and sat on one of the benches. I sat there for a while watching the sun and the waves, and then a couple walked up. They looked over at me on the bench...like they wanted to sit there...and then went over to another bench and sat down. I looked around and realized that all the benches had couples sitting on them. I felt bad taking up a perfectly good bench by myself...so I moved over to the rocks, and right away I looked back and the bench was already taken by another couple...

I actually don't feel like I'm by myself because of how much love is invested in that park, and in that sunset...It's the place where Matt and I had our first picnic, where we walked to and talked about everything..life, love, family, hopes and dreams...It's the place where Matt first talked to me about loving life, and not taking one day for granted...and where I really began to believe that maybe I had found the love of my life...and it's where Matt proposed, and instantly made me the happiest girl in the whole world. When I am there I feel like I am with him, and I am happy...and I miss him!

I sat and listened to the couple who took my spot on the bench, and the woman talked for a while..the man then interrupted over and over again, he put her down. He pointed out her failures, talked down to her, and never really listened to her. It made me so mad...I just wanted to yell at him and ask him how he would feel if suddenly she were gone, and the last things he said to her were things that made her feel bad about herself. It makes me so mad when couples take each other for granted...because they just expect that the person will always be there...and don't realize how much their life would change if that person were suddenly gone.

I guess when you don't have the luxury of having the person you love never go away from more then a few days or a week at a time...you realize how precious your relationship really is...and how much you love and depend on that person.

The worst part is the longing for them when they are gone...the best part is making the most of every second they are near you.